Woman Accidently Inhales Condom

Apparently, this actually happened to a woman in India. I have a hard time believing it, but hey, odder things have occurred. If the doctor made his prognosis, who am I to argue with it?

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe. Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.

Accidental condom inhalation. [Indian J Chest Dis Allied Sci. 2004 Jan-Mar] - PubMed Result

I'm going to ask what many of you are undoubtedly thinking. How the hell do you forget inhaling a condom? How can you show up at the doctor's office after that event and say, "I've got this terrible infection and I just don't know how I got it?" I mean, isn't inhaling a condom a guaranteed memorable event?

Don't even get me started on how it happened. She must have been so bloody enthusiastic that she neglected to notice the condom slipping off. Even more shocking is that she didn't swallow, she inhaled. Clearly, this is a woman who gives blowjobs like they're going out of business.

Now all you alpha males out there who are planning on tracking down this woman to get her to repeat this performance, please don't. She's been through enough. You'll kill her. You don't need that hanging over your head.

Commercial Features Violent Lesbians with a Hunger for Apple Sauce

Yeah, this is one of those rare occasions where I'm forced to say, "I didn't see that one coming." For almost a minute there, we do nothing but watch flirtatious lesbians in their underwear. Who knew what darkness lurked in these ladies hearts?

I've now learned the dangers of mentioning "apple sauce" to lesbians. Believe me, you will want to avoid anything related to apple sauce if you are in the presence of lesbians — especially if they are making out with each other in their underwear. Don't say I didn't warn you.

With that in mind, I wonder if any of you want to make yourselves over to Mac's after watching this commercial.

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Necklace Made of Toenails

You may want to click on the image to get a better understanding of who contributed to this necklace. But let me say, this is gross. He's got a toenail from his daughter's first marathon. A good portion of these toenails are discoloured and shrivelled. I just can't imagine anyone wearing this on a daily basis. He did say this is "ceremonial", though.

Now, if this guy wants to earn extra points with me, he's got to sell this on eBay. He's sure to find a buyer. Hell, I'm sure someone would pay a pretty penny for this thing.

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Beware the Power of the Penis!

I am truly flabbergasted. I think the woman's original intent was to talk about the dangers of sexual promiscuity, but she got caught up. Pretty soon, she starts talking about "jackrabbits" and then about the dangers of "hitting the bottom". Oh, you know she's getting into it because she starts talking about how the penis is used to break a woman's will — and she talks about it with special enunciation.

That's when you know she's talking from experience. This woman has been burned in the past. You really know it. Hell, I didn't know we men had that kind of power.

I still can't believe, though, that the other woman talking is the main presenter's mother. I mean, can you imagine anything more awkward than being on television with your mother and talking about the evil power of the penis?

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Top Six Extreme Guarantees of a Traffic Accident

Each image here represents an accident waiting to happen. There are two primary ingredients that create each future cataclysm: sheer incompetence by whoever created these road conditions and pure shock on the part of the oncoming driver.

A further two things provoke me upon looking at these images. Initially, I must ask how it got to the point where these road conditions got implemented. The image on the left, for instance, must have been printed, approved for road use, and then actually set. Why is it, through this entire bureaucratic process, that nobody saw the potential deaths that could occur?

The other noteworthy aspect is that we didn't get to see the accidents. Hopefully, someone came to their senses and realized what harm may happen. Thing is, we don't know. While these mistakes may have been rectified, they was still time for an accident to occur before they were fixed.

And so, without further adieu, I present to you five more images that will prompt you to say, "What doom could have occurred here?"

Certainly, you should stop at the intersection. But pray tell, where shall you go from there? Well, you got to go somewhere. Let's just hope the decision is the right one.



Ha ha. How clever. Unfortunately, someone has forgotten the first law of human stupidity: someone is going to do it.



The only explanation here is that whoever painted this road was an extremely drunk and retarded person.



You just know this was responsible for a clip on America's Funniest Home Videos. That is hoping that after the cyclist impales his nuts that he doesn't fall onto the road and get hit by an oncoming truck.



Just don't ask why. Please. Just don't ask why.

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Newscaster Resembles Rapist

I wonder how many people were thinking the same thing I was thinking when I originally saw this pic. Damn, that newscaster resembles that rapist quite a bit. It is uncanny how much they look alike. I wonder how many people thought the newscaster was the rapist. Was the television station inundated with calls?

Poor fellow. He cannot help that his lookalike is a rapist. I have no doubt he's probably salt of the other. It's too bad his evil twin ended up on the news he broadcast.

The Worst Tattoos Ever

My girlfriend loves tattoos, and she's tried talking me into getting one. Sometimes, that is a tempting proposition, but then I look at these guys. This then reminds me how most every tattoo, eventually, turns out to be a rather nasty enterprise.

For instance, Patrick Havens sums up everything I feel about the fellow above in the following words:

This dickless wonder paid someone to tattoo this on him… Shit, I know a ton of people in Brooklyn that would have done the real thing for free.

Living in the Whine Country » I love Tattoos but…

Now these tattoos (NSFW) take an especial dose of stupidity. Can it get any more stupid than tattooing the word "STUPID" on your forehead? Actually, it does. It really does.