SheWee -- An Invention that Allows Women to Pee Standing Up

The device you see above allows women an option that men take for granted: the ability to urinate without sitting down. Samantha Fountain, the inventor of SheWee has great hopes. She hopes that not only will her invention offer greater freedom to the average woman, but that it will improve the quality of life for the wheelchair-bound and the elderly. In fact, she hopes it will revolutionize the way women go to the bathroom.

Designed with women of all ages and occupations in mind, the compact Shewee will soon be as much of a handbag essential as your lipstick!

Whether you choose to use Shewee to avoid sitting on less than desirable public toilet seats, or if your job or favourite hobby makes going to the toilet in the usual squatting stance difficult, Shewee is a brilliant solution.

It will be interesting to see if this device takes off. I will say one thing, though. I will welcome the day when women can join me in snow-writing contests. Women, in general, are better spellers anyway.

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High Heel Flippers

This one is for all those ladies who love to engage in snorkeling activities but want to keep their feminine mystique. Now swimming, in and of itself, is a very womanly actvity as shown by the numerous women who like to strut their stuff on the beach. That, and I also conclude this proclamation by saying that synchronized swimming must have been invented by a woman.

Unfortunately for many women, snorkeling may not be the most sexy of activities. When was the last time you've heard a woman say, "I think I'm going to accentuate my bikini with a fine pair of flippers"? I defy you to find one such woman — unless she is the widow of Jacques Cousteau.

Well, female snorkelers, fret no more. We have here a pair of flippers so womanly, you are bound to wear a ballroom gown into the ocean. And besides, of you are the kind of girl that swoons over the surfer boy, take heart. You will now be able to swim towards him in style.

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Sweet Valley High is Serious Business!

I'd like to call your attention to one of the more interesting blogs I've read recently. The Dairi Burger devotes itself to intense literary analysis of Sweet Valley High. As you'll soon realize, this is an understatement. The author of this blog examines Sweet Valley High much like a biologist with microscope.

Consider this excerpt:

First, let’s start with the cover. Why did Jessica and her date stop at the Sears portrait studio? Why in the hell does Scott have a porn moustache? He looks old enough to be my father. Or a little bit like a drag king. Creepy. And Jessica and her damn feathered hair.

The one where you think Jessica has sex but the title and cover are misleading, or #5 All Night Long « The Dairi Burger

I, unfortunately, would not be able to answer these questions. In my defense, I wouldn't be able to tell you why the twins battled a werewolf, or why a classmate of Alice Wakefield's tried to steal her face via a transplant, nor why Elizabeth fell in love with a Parisian prince.

Not that I've ever ready a Sweet Valley High book. Because... um... why would I?

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Lady Wrestlers from the 80s

They were called Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (a.k.a., GLOW). Most of them were actresses and porn stars who were looking to use this promotion as a stepping stone towards greater things. One performer, Palestina (who depicted a religious Palestinian) later became a successful singer in England.

Of course, this is terrible. The WWE this is most definitely not. The over-the-top comedy sketch is not funny. And I cannot imagine anything more absurd that actually made its way on the air.

However, I will say this: the rap song is awesome.

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Japan Continues to Create Video Games to Outrage Feminists

The game is called "Battle Raper 2". If the name is not obscene enough for Western consumption, take a look at the game's description.

The game is a 3D fighter where you are able to knock the female opponent's clothing off through combat. The story line has no relations to the original Battle Raper. In Battle Raper 2 there is no raping in the whole game even though the title may imply that there is. In this Battle Raper you also have the option of editing the clothing and weapons of characters.

Battle Raper 2 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I don't know how this game has not caused outrage in Japan, but society there must have a totally different attitude to women than we do. Believe me, I'm as much a fan of Japan as the next person, but there has to be an explanation as to why there is even a market for this game. Does the common video game buyer even know what the word "rape" means? If not, did the developers even look at what this word means in an English dictionary?

Hypothetically speaking, if this game ever made it to North American shores, I wonder how Jack Thompson would handle it. He's already thrown hissy fits over much tamer fare. Not that I want this game to have a North American distributor either.

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Woman Body Builder Solves a Rubik's Cube

...And she does it while dancing.

This woman is truly admirable. She is a physical specimen, all right. You can see the hard work she put into her body. But then she shows that she's not all brawn. She's got brains too.

You know, this is the kind of woman I would like to have breakfast with. The conversation could be very interesting. Doubtless, she's probably got a lot of experiences that are worth hearing about.

This is very empowering to me, truth be told. Not only does she exhibit fine human achievement, she does so in an entirely positive way. Women like this should be famous — not Paris Hilton.

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Big Nose Fetish

I don't think appreciation of big noses is that unusual per se but I do think the Big Nose Appreciation Page is neat. Not only do you get galleries of women with naturally big noses, you also get galleries of women with regular noses who get their noses morphed to absurd proporations. Funny enough, from a utilitarian point of view, big noses can be very useful in certain romantic settings.

And if you want to discuss your appreciation for big noses, here's the message board. Have fun!

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The Taser Disguised as a Tampon

I have already chronicled the tampon blowgun, but now meet the Pink Stinger a discreet taser that packs a whopping 50,000 volts of electricity. Once a criminal gets shocked by this device, he'll be seeing red — I assure you that.

When shooting in Taser mode, 2 extra absorbent cotton tampons with barbed probes and 14 ft. of wire are expelled and propelled by compressed nitrogen. Electric current then passes to the body, where the probes have attach to the clothing or bare skin, causing central nervous system disruption, possible urination and certain humiliation. Optimal target range for the taser is 7-10 feet with a maximum of 14 feet. Absorbency range of tampon is 6-9 grams. The included batteries and compressed nitrogen cartridge store neatly in the pink zapplicator casing for easy replacement.

Looking for Discreet Protection? Try the Tampon Taser Gun | American Inventor Spot

The question that is burning in my mind is: what if a woman mistakes this for an actual tampon? I cannot fathom a worse outcome than to be zapped in the lady parts. I'm not joking — if this device reaches mass consumption, it is only a matter of time before the scenario I point out actually happens. It will make headlines.

Ladies, I'd love to know your opinion. Would you ever buy the Pink Stinger? And do you genuinely fear 50,000 volts of a electricity due to a mistaken insertion?

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My Pretty Filly

I discovered these girls yesterday when I did a search for "meat". Pretty much, there are a sketch comedy troupe with a taste for the bizarre. And they do a pretty bang up job too as you can see in the above clip.

It looks like I'm not the only one who thinks so. Meat (for that is their name) have been acclaimed by The Village Voice, Time Out Chicago, The Onion, amongst other alternative weeklies. The next time they are in Vancouver, I'm going to check them out.

Indeed, I'm very thankful I'm able to find a gang of women who thinks toy horses are as pretty as I do. I was beginning to think I was a pervert.

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Beware the Power of the Penis!

I am truly flabbergasted. I think the woman's original intent was to talk about the dangers of sexual promiscuity, but she got caught up. Pretty soon, she starts talking about "jackrabbits" and then about the dangers of "hitting the bottom". Oh, you know she's getting into it because she starts talking about how the penis is used to break a woman's will — and she talks about it with special enunciation.

That's when you know she's talking from experience. This woman has been burned in the past. You really know it. Hell, I didn't know we men had that kind of power.

I still can't believe, though, that the other woman talking is the main presenter's mother. I mean, can you imagine anything more awkward than being on television with your mother and talking about the evil power of the penis?

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The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood

The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood is a hilarious book. Supposedly written by "Angela", the book was in reality authored by a David Coory — who seems to be some sort of arch-conservative. Indeed, the book was actually published in 1989.

The focus of the book seems to be on saving one's marriage. To put it tactfully, the advice seems quite suspect. Here's a bit of choice advice from this book:

• Admire his masculine qualities and never wound his sensitive pride
  
• Watch what men do, and do the opposite
  
• To obtain your needs from your husband, ask as a young girl asks her father

That last piece of advice is wrong on so many levels. I, for one, don't want a "young girl" to obtain her needs from me. I want a woman. It's just too creepy to be asked as a "father" for anything marriage related.

We must remember, of course, the kind of author we're talking about. Apparently, Mr Coory finds these women to be sexually arousing. Something tells me that the Sears catalogue was well maintained at the Coory household.

Via Arty Bees Books

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Why Dogs Should Not Be Used For Censorship

Oh. My. God. Whatever advantages this woman may have in being without pants is rendered null and void by the dog that is strategically placed in front of her. And there's much to like about this woman too. She's got a nice figure, a nice smile, and nice tattoos. All that goes to hell by the dog — that evil, evil pug.

In truth, after I saw this pic I wanted to immediately forget it. However, I thought I'd pass on this repulsion onto you. Forgive me for the burning in your eye sockets.

Sheesh. How utterly bizarre.

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Japanese Women Eating Heads of Cats

I have, for your edification, Japanese women eating heads of cats. Yes, they are live cats. If you want a larger view, click on the pick. I love the glazed look in all of their eyes and the thickly applied mascara. The cats seem way to submissive. Perhaps they've been party to this for too long.

Don't laugh. This could be the next cultural fad imported from Japan.