Live Performance of Bad Brains Circa 1979

Hot damn. If you don't know the significance of Bad Brains, take a bloody look. This was the band to define what was to come. This was the original hardcore punk band. But they didn't just do punk rock. They were also a fusion jazz band, a funk band, and a dub reggae band (singer H.R. is a Rastafarian).

And what a performance. They aren't just loud and frenetic. There's a depth of delivery going on. You know he's saying something important and you better take heed.

Now here is my dream, and I know it will be a forever unfulfilled one. I'd like to see Public Enemy and Bad Brains together on stage. They are so perfect together. Both share the same political leanings, both are energetic, and both have a message they want to broadcast to the world. Finally, both are a purer version of the genres of music they represent.

So marvel at this performance, even if you don't like punk rock. What you are seeing is one of the seminal moments that would define the next 20 years of music. You like Black Flag, Nirvana, and Sublime? What about the Beastie Boys? You are seeing it all in a very raw form.

These Guys Need Girlfriends

This is the most homoerotic thing I've ever seen. It's more homoerotic than 80s era Boy George making out with a groupie in a jacuzzi full of Skittles. The irony is that, for all intents and purposes, these boys were probably trying show the "ladies" their sexual prowess.

One would suppose that when you have a group of five virgin males in one room humping the air, you should not video tape it. Not only did these boys consent to being on tape, they decided to be all "stylish" about it. The tragedy, of course, is that this video has made its way onto YouTube for all to see.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: what gets on the internet stays on the internet. I've done my share of stupid things before but I'm always wise to never tape any of my enactments. Now these boys are in the obvious predicament of some stranger walking up to them and saying, "Hey, aren't you that guy who taped himself humping air and had his friends join him?"

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Why One Should Not Attend Philosophy Class While on LSD

Yes, I am consciously aware that this is probably one of the most retarded "philosophy" dissertations every made, but I can't help it. If I didn't present retarded things every now and again, I would be discriminating against a whole realm of unusual things. As you know, discrimination is wrong. Therefore, in my attempt to be tolerant, I present to you one of the most retarded philosophical videos ever.

Here Phuckface Digitalis proves, once and for all, that existence exists. His tools of logic are bright colours, licking a bush, and smashing a television. I, for one, am now totally convinced. I had my doubts. Whereas before I thought I may have just been imagining my own existence, I now know I am wrong. Existence definitely exists. The tub of sauerkraut proves it.

So forget the Matrix. Forget all those post-modernist philosophers who believe life is just a literary interpretation to be examined. Existence exists. If it didn't, I would be able to will this retarded video away.

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A Cat Spanking Video

During my time as a cat owner, I do some pretty interesting things to my cat. I taught him to play hide and go seek. I taped scotch tape to his feet and watched him dance around. Perhaps the cruelest thing I did was tie a shoelace to his tale and watch him go crazy as he chased the shoelace only to never catch it. Cats are made for wacky times.

Cat spanking is a little too wacky for my blood. That cat seems to enjoy the sensation of being spanked way too much. Perhaps it's just me, but this act reminds me a little too much of S&M. Is society so absolutely screwed up that whenever I watch a cat being spanked it seems a little too human to me?

In any which sense, I wouldn't worry too much if this one video was an anomaly. It is not. Wikia has a whole page devoted to cat spanking videos. This means we are on the verge of a new movement amongst feline enthusiasts. The cat spanking movement is soon to be upon us.

Bo Diddley Sings "Bo Diddley", 1955

It is arguable that Bo Diddley invented rock and roll. Sure, Little Richard had his characteristic wail. Chuck Berry had his speedy guitar. However, it is Bo Diddley who created the rhythm of rock and roll. He took it to territory blues had not tread. This makes him rock music's first great innovator.

Many people say the Ramones are rock and roll stripped to its bare essentials. This video proves otherwise. Bo Diddley is the bare essential of rock and roll, and it is too bad he has been denied recognition for so long. It cannot get any more raw, more primal, more real than this.

Here is Bo Diddley during a 1955 performance.

Public Image Ltd. - Poptones

There is no question to me Public Image Ltd. (a.k.a., PiL) is a much better band than the Sex Pistols. It certainly was John Lydon's more ambitious band. While the Sex Pistols were a Malcolm McLaren marketing gimmick whose primary claim to fame was that they were a talentless, snotty band of teenagers who happened to offend the Queen, PiL were about pushing the boundaries of Rock and Roll.

It is hard to argue with the talent gushing out of PiL. John Lydon's sneer turned into a moan whose emotional bearings are obscure. The dub-influenced bass riffs of Jah Wobble are sensitive yet pounding. While both these fellows are hailed as the creative gems of PiL, I think there is definitely something to be said for Keith Levene's skeletal yet hypnotic guitar work. It is certainly the most under-estimated element of the band.

In any case, watch this video of Poptones. It should certainly silence any question of where PiL should be ranked within the annals of Rock music.