Metapedia -- The Encyclopedia for Racists, by Racists

Is Conservapedia just too liberal commie for you? Fret no more, my dear Fascist. There is now a home for you too.

Indeed, at Metapedia, they don't let asinine things such as the facts get in the way. The most important thing, at the end of the day, is to rewrite dictionary terms. Take, for instance, this entry for "Native American".

Native American in it's historical meaning was a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant born in the United States of America. After 1960 leftists started using term for American Indians.

Native american - Metapedia

Wow! It seems that the real Lamanites first went to England then went to America. It's all beginning to make sense now.

But, pretending to take this entry seriously for a moment, I wonder if the English settlers arrived at Plymouth Rock and exclaimed — wearily and with tears in their eyes — "At last, we Native Americans can escape from our land of persecution and practice our faith freely in this strange New World which we now alternately pronounce to be the land of our ancestors of which we've never left."

Are you as confused as I am?

Guess Who Holds This Klan Member's Life in Their Hands?

Yet another reason why being a racist totally sucks. Let's say you get injured at that White Power rally. Let's also say you lose consciousness. Well, in such a situation, one cannot choose one's doctors.

Now, to be honest, I don't know the outcome of this situation. They could have done what I would have done and made a key incision at the "wrong" spot. Nobody would have known. Mistakes do happen in the emergency room.

Seeing how these are hospital staff who have have sworn the Hyppocratic Oath something tells me the did their best to save him — despite the fact he is a racist bastard who doesn't deserve the air he breathes. Hospital staff are like that. Perhaps he came away from this experience a changed man. Perhaps he realized that these hospital staff took the high road, stitched him up, and saved his intolerant ass.

The cynical part of me, though, believes he walked away just as intolerant as before — and maybe more smug.

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"I'm Jewish, Can I Join the Klan?"

I'm in the same boat as this guy. My mother is Jewish, but I don't feel very Jewish at all. In fact, for my whole life, except for a brief spell in an Orthodox yeshiva, I've always identified myself as "White". Funny, for all intents and purposes, I don't think Jews would regard me as Jewish. I am currently a practicing Protestant.

Tell this to the Klu Klux Klan, though. They won't have me as a member even though, if I were to have a child with a "shiksa", he'd be hypothetically allowed to join. No matter how un-Jewish I feel, though, the KKK are here to remind me that I'm still part of that club.

It would be cool if all these extremist organizations were right about the Jews' all-pervading power. Then I wouldn't have to work my crappy job. I'd be a banker manipulating the stock market to make myself more rich but nobody would know that since I am distracting everyone through the power of Hollywood. How awesome would that be if it were to occur?

Maybe not for you guys, but for me.

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"Offensive" Fruit Crate Label Art of Yesteryear

I use the word "offensive" on a more encompassing sense than usual. What I really mean is that these labels, through time, have become unmarketable. Indeed, using labels such as these will doom a company to bankruptcy. I will point out why.




The only head lettuce that stops male itch, I imagine Gold Bond to have tingled upon ingestion. When I was a young 'un, my friends and I would get together for Gold Bond parties. These parties had nothing to do with lettuce. Rather, we used that other Gold Bond — the one that contained menthol and zinc oxide as ingredients. For good reason, we had our own slogan for Gold Bond. "It is Halls for your balls," we'd say. Upon application, each one of us would feel a cooling sensation before we were rendered immobile by an intense numbing.

You see, I don't think anyone could be too enthusiastic about adding Gold Bond to their salad.




That boy there is Gay Johnny. He is from the ranch where cowboys abound. In an age where Brokeback Mountain can win an Academy Award, homosexuality is not as controversial as it once was. Little gay boys named Johnny will not sell vegetables, though. I think you know why.




Ah, back in the day when racism could sell sweet potatoes. Here a down and out Black man from Louisiana is dooming himself to more abject poverty through the role of the dice. I imagine these potatoes to be quite popular amongst the Klan. And what is the brand of potatoes? "Don't Cry". It's as if Irvin Wimberly, packer and shipper, is trying to say something.

Most Racist Ad Ever

First of all, how did a bunch of racists raise enough money to create this pathetic ad? Yes, I said this ad is pathetic. A whole bunch of white people may be smiling and cuddling children in this ad, but you know they're itching to burn down some crosses. The music may be silky smooth, and the voiceover may be calming, yet I know they are absolutely chomping at the bit to blow a Black person's face off if they could.

National Vanguard have successfully created the most racist advertisement ever. Who the hell gives them the right to speak for "White" America? I know I don't need their faux "news" to tell me how to think. Life is good for me. I go to work. I come home. I make friends. Some of those friends are not "white". Do note the quotation marks are not by accident, as I cannot think of any more retarded reason to hate someone than skin pigment.

Regardless, if you need any evidence on the moral and intellectual ineptitude of American racism, watch this ad. I, for one, hope this was never broadcast on any television stations. If it was, do the right thing and make a complaint.