Show Your Mom Love with the MaternaCord Reconnection System

Recently, I have become distant with my mother and I've wondered what I could do to re-connect with her. Little did I know that the answer lies with how our relationship began in the first place: with the umbilical cord. It only makes sense to suppose that in order to feel an emotional connection one must also have a physical connection. The MaternaCord, therefore, is the answer.

The snap-on adhesive discs have sold me. I cannot wait to perform yoga with my mother while using the umbilical cord. I also cannot wait till the love flows between us again. My mom, afterall, is the most important person in my life.

An added bonus of the MaternaCord is that one no longer has to worry so much about grocery bills. The MaternaCord allows you to borrow a few nutrients from your mother if need be. It is just that simple.

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The Dangers of Sexual Harrassment

At first I thought this was going to be one of those awful corporate videos companies sometimes like to shove down your throat because they are afraid of getting sued but still don't throw any many unto production. And for the first minute, it looked very likely that this was the case. As time went on the parody became apparent. My hat off to whoever properly lampooned what everyone knows to be one of the lamer points of working for multinational corporations.

Onto the topic of sex in the workplace, this is something companies cannot avoid. While management weould love employess who are purely interested in production, it's not going to happen. People quite naturally are going to be drawn to others in places where they most often interact. When you work eight hours a day at the same place, it's logical to suppose something will happen.

Funny enough, my employer officially prohibits any employee dating. Management, in their pragmatism, have realized this is impossible to enforce so they are quite laissez-faire about the whole deal. I, being the paranoid man that I am, have still been caught up in the primal energy thrown at me by some of my female coworkers. For the most part, I've been pretty good, but what am I to do when one particular girl asks me for a massage? What more, what if this particular girl has a beautiful smile, an infectious laugh, and a husky voice?

I cave in, that's what I do.

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The Incredible Edible Anus -- Made with Belgian Chocolate

One of the more clever allusions to scatological activity, the Incredible Edible Anus is a dessert that an eBay retailer hopes will become a hit. Well, his product definitely has one advantage over Hershey's Kisses: an anus is prone to spew out a product that actually resembles chocolate. Indeed, it is no slur to say that the makers of the Incredible Edible Anus actually are engaging in fudge-packing. It is not a stretch to imply that they hope, through their effort of fudge-packing, that their anuses will make contact with your mouth.

If you look at the two people enjoying their chocolate anuses in the picture above, one can state that there's meant to be a certain eroticism at play here. However, if you are vanilla like me (no pun intended), I can't imagine the Incredible Edible Anus being a hit come Valentine's Day.

"Honey, I've decided to present you this collection of chocolate anuses as a symbol of our eternal love" — there seems to be something missing from this statement. Perhaps it's tenderness. Perhaps the juxtaposition just seems wrong. Remember, though, that you are talking to a fellow that is quite vanilla in his proclivities (unless you count trees).

Whatever your motive, the Incredible Edible Anus seems to me like an intriguing novelty gift to give to that special someone — whether friend of foe.

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The Sad Motive Behind the Coral Castle

This is an example from the Coral Castle, a structure like no other. Everything was hand built by one man: Edward Leedskalnin who stood 5' and weighed no more than 100lbs. Most of the structure was made of coral. However, other megalithic stones were used too. Much of the stones wieghed more than a ton, so it is amazing that this was buit using common tools.

What is more amazing was that he built the Coral Castle as a monument to his love, former fiancee Agnes Scuffs who spurned him one day before they were to marry. This was his way of proving that he loved her and wanted to be with her. He wanted Agnes to see or hear about his structure and realize he deeply he felt about her.

Here's where the tragedy comes in.

Upon hearing this story, Scuffs responded, "I did not want to marry Edward when I was 16, and I don't want to marry him now." Leedskalnin died a few years later.

Coral Castle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ouch. To think he went through all this effort, then died knowing his love was unrequited. She really really did not want to marry him.

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105-Year-Old Grandpa Goes Girl Crazy

Centenarians need some loving too. At least 105-year-old Gong Duruo does — and it seems he cannot live without love anymore. And really, is there anything stopping this fellow from finding himself a good woman?

He has two PhDs, is an expert in Chinese medicine, and is hoping to become a published author. Moreover, he's still actively treating patients at a local community clinic. If you're a woman and you're not sold on him yet, take a look at that beard. Admit it, ladies, you think it's hot stuff.

Thus far, Gong Duruo has had ten ladies who dig his grandfatherly goodness. Of these ten, 52-year-old Zhang is the frontrunner. Did I mention Gong Duruo loves them (comparably) young? Zhang, though, doesn't seem to mind the age gap.

" My father is 20 years older than my mother, and an instant warm feeling ran through me when I saw his online pictures," Zhang said when was asked about the age gap.

105-year old man seeks Ms. Right

There you go. I don't think you need any more evidence that this guy is the grandmack of the mackdaddies — of whom even senior casanovas like Isaac Hayes must cower before. Sure, he may be single now, but that's just because at the age of 105, a few women ought to have died on you.