Japanese Woman Lives as a Hamster

My God, I love Japan. Whenever I need something to write about, and I am edging writer's block, Japanese people bail me out every time. There is always something "quixotical" to write about when it comes to Japan.

Such is the case here where performance artist Sako Kojima decided to go to France and live as a hamster. During that time, she ran around, bit wood and paper, and scratched walls — as a hamster. And as an added bonus, she donned a fursuit.

But pray tell, why did she desire to live as a hamster?

At present I'm 　　interested in the psychology of diseased human psychology for the civilized world, because it's the almost same as my pain. Human is thinking animal therefore, we tire, sad, go mad. I'm thinking, I want to become just a small animal, because they don't meditate, they aren't thinking deep. It's the reason, I'm doing animal performance. But all of my works are rather optimistic than gloomy. At first sight, the works appear unique and cute but after time the works show a sense of irony pain and sadness of individual human experience.

Sako Kojima - Works

So apparently, the reason behind all of this was because she was tired of thinking but she wanted to also express a sense of irony about the human experience. And she thought the best means of doing this was to live as a hamsters.

I will submit, though, that she forgot the most important part about being a hamster: the hamster wheel. What kind of hamster are you if you can't get on that hamster wheel and make a good run of it? For, isn't it the experience of running but ultimately going nowhere that belies the futility of human experience?

The Manga Version of Charlie Brown

Memo to all those Japanophiles out there: not everything needs a manga makeover. Lucy was just fine as a flat-chested prepubescent fussbudget. Linus was better holding his blanket instead of discreetly letting it hang out of his back pocket. And above all, Charlie Brown should never make a cameo in Dragon Ball Z.

This is wrong. Actually, let me use stronger language. This is an abominable blight. It must be stopped. We must stop the further conversion of our most beloved cartoons into manga.

Although, if I could recommend one Western cartoon that deserves the manga treatment, it would be Pokemon. I don't know why nobody has tried that yet.

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Japanese Commercial Proves Windows Causes Psychosis

Actually, Windows 3.1 was my favourite version of Windows. This is purely for sentimental reasons. The first computer I owned was a 286 running Windows 3.1 on a CGA display. In those days, I survived on Civilization and WordPerfect.

However, let it be known that Windows is a necessary evil for me. I only use it because my VoIP phone and network card are all Windows specific. Otherwise, I'd be on Ubuntu all the time. I find it incredibly frustrating that Windows lacks a decent command prompt, network installation setup, and customizable GUI. Like I implied, though, it is a Windows world and if you want your devices to work, chances are they'll only work with Windows.

Ironically enough, this Japanese Windows commercial describes exactly how I've felt about Windows for the last five years. You know its evil, but in the end, you know you'll use it because there's really no other alternative if you want to make the most of every device you've bought in store.

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Japanese-Style Western Cutlery of the Early Meiji Period

Let it never be said that learning how to use Western cutlery is easy to learn. Sure, you may have no problem using a knife and fork, but what about for Japanese people of the Early Meiji period? From their perspective, not only was it hard to learn but it was easy get injured by it.

along with the influx of western culture in the early meiji period came western styles of eating. however, number of injuries caused by the mishandling of western cutlery, with its sharp blades and pointed tines. the collections of cutleries were developed to enable their users to experience the new style of eating with traditional and more familiar material.

hiroko shiratori

As you can see, it's not only recently that Japanese folk have been taking Western inventions and putting their own spin on it. While you may look at Sony, and Toyota, and Yamaha and think to yourself "neato!" just remember that there is a continuous historical precedent. Japan will continue to innovate for that is the nature of their culture. And we all are better for it.

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Japanese Nintendo Commercial Featuring a Dancing Link

Sometimes I wish I lived in Japan during the 90s. That way I'd have nostalgia for this commercial. As it is, I cannot help but feel that we here in North America are being deprived of some prime video game material. This would be one such indication.

Let's start with the dancing. Those moves are pure funk and would give Thriller era Michael Jackson a run for his money. Zelda... erm... Link here oozes dancefloor confidence and you know he would school your ass.

The music mixes video game cheese with some thick grooves. I can't get the bass out of my head. As is the case with much foreign fare, I wish there were subtitles in this video as I'm curious about the lyrics. All in all, I give this song an "A+" — it is truly awesome.

One other note: the princess is so hot. I'd rescue her anyday.

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Coat Hanger Bear is Happy to See You!

Ah, japan. Land of unintentional sexual innuendo. How I love that you give me a constant stream of stuff to write about. Here we have a little character I'd like to affectionately call Coat Hanger Bear.

And he is very happy to see you. Very very happy. You see, Coat Hanger Bear has a smile, his arms are extended for a friendly embrace, and — as I don't have to strongly point out — his hooks are strongly positioned. What better way for a friendly animal pal to help you with your coat.

This product features some brand new technology by 3M, by the way. It's got a re-usable Command adhesive so that you can use it over and over and over again. Just like the little slut that it is.

Via Texyt

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"This is Beach": A Hilarious Japanese Commercial

Well, I'm pumped. I just blasted my fist in the air, I'm so excited about Okinawa. This commercial is the height of what makes Japan so stupendously great. Behold the Engrish, the heavy metal riffage, the skinny lad pointing at his pecs. The amazing thing about this is that all this coolness is encapsulated into a mere 15 seconds. That's fifteen seconds of "wave", "fish", "hip", and "beach" — ending with one intense pelvic thrust.

The closest thing I can compare this to is the Team America: World Police anthem. The difference, of course, is that this commercial is a lot more brief — and therefore more witty. Hence, this only proves that whatever America can create, Japan can streamline and saturate it with pure Nippon ernergy. This, my friends, is why I intend to travel to Japan one of these days.

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White Boy's Going to Be in a World of Pain

I think there's a lesson in here somewhere. Actually, I think there may be a few lessons — and I think you know what will be the outcome of this mess. This, my friends, is the beginning of a trainwreck.

Oh, where to begin? First of all, if there's weaponry in the room — especially multiple variations of sharp, sharp blades — don't sleep with some random fellow's wife. This is very true if you are some scrawny white boy in Japan. Japan, you see, is the home of such luminous warrior folk as the samurai and the ninja. Hence, if there's some weapons put on display near the door, it's probably not just there for decorative purposes.

Another point to make: getting drunk is not an ideal action if a tough-as-nails martial artist has just come home from the gym and his senses are sharp like a cheetah's claw. As far as perceptiveness is concerned, the odds are not in your favour. The throwing stars are just a few inches away, and they are made to wound people.

Finally, with everything else factored in, there should always be an escape route. It will not be behind the wall, for that is paper. It will not be under the bed. And unfortunately, you are closer to the husband than the wife is. He already sees your sandals. He's already pissed.

Dear white boy, you're going to be in a world of pain. Sign your death certificate right now.

Via Dark Roasted Blend

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Japanese Power Rangers Parody

Japan is responsible for a lot of childhood fads that have proven to be insufferable. Tamagotchis, pokemons, and Dragonball all being crazes that simply wouldn't die in the time I preferred. Little did I know folks in Japan were feeling my pain, that their culture was being held hostage by the very things I loathed — much the same as my country, Canada, is being held hostage by some truly atrocious music produced here.

Anyway, this parody more than makes up for Power Rangers. Power Rangers, you will recall, was the worst of the lot. Bad actors, bad costumes, bad overall concept. The movie proved to imprint on me a mental scar. Well, the Earth Defender Freshmen have proved to be my much needed antidote.

Thank you, Japan. I mean it. Thank you for giving my life back.

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Japanese Women Eating Heads of Cats

I have, for your edification, Japanese women eating heads of cats. Yes, they are live cats. If you want a larger view, click on the pick. I love the glazed look in all of their eyes and the thickly applied mascara. The cats seem way to submissive. Perhaps they've been party to this for too long.

Don't laugh. This could be the next cultural fad imported from Japan.