Guess Who Holds This Klan Member's Life in Their Hands?

Yet another reason why being a racist totally sucks. Let's say you get injured at that White Power rally. Let's also say you lose consciousness. Well, in such a situation, one cannot choose one's doctors.

Now, to be honest, I don't know the outcome of this situation. They could have done what I would have done and made a key incision at the "wrong" spot. Nobody would have known. Mistakes do happen in the emergency room.

Seeing how these are hospital staff who have have sworn the Hyppocratic Oath something tells me the did their best to save him — despite the fact he is a racist bastard who doesn't deserve the air he breathes. Hospital staff are like that. Perhaps he came away from this experience a changed man. Perhaps he realized that these hospital staff took the high road, stitched him up, and saved his intolerant ass.

The cynical part of me, though, believes he walked away just as intolerant as before — and maybe more smug.

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Show Your Mom Love with the MaternaCord Reconnection System

Recently, I have become distant with my mother and I've wondered what I could do to re-connect with her. Little did I know that the answer lies with how our relationship began in the first place: with the umbilical cord. It only makes sense to suppose that in order to feel an emotional connection one must also have a physical connection. The MaternaCord, therefore, is the answer.

The snap-on adhesive discs have sold me. I cannot wait to perform yoga with my mother while using the umbilical cord. I also cannot wait till the love flows between us again. My mom, afterall, is the most important person in my life.

An added bonus of the MaternaCord is that one no longer has to worry so much about grocery bills. The MaternaCord allows you to borrow a few nutrients from your mother if need be. It is just that simple.

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Check Your Prostate, Get Free Baseball Tickets

The Milwaukee Brewers have hit upon an interesting way to get men to have prostate exams. On May 8, if you showed up at Miller Park, allowed a doctor to look at your rectum, you would have gotten free tickets to a future Milwaukee Brewers game. The exam itself was "free and confidential".

I actually think this is a great idea. Not only did men score free baseball tickets, they potentially saved lives. If the motivation to watch a baseball game results in early detection of prostate cancer, that's good. So points to the Milwaukee Brewers for hitting upon an unorthodox means to get what needs to be done.

Now I wonder what novel approach we can use to get women to do a breast exam?

Via USA Today

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You are What You Eat

I think Dayalets was a book that was supposed to educate simpletons like you and me about the pitfalls of an unbalanced diet. Burger Bill, the fellow you see above, is supposed to be one such example of someone whose intake consists of nothing but burgers and fries. Note his satisfied expression as he scoops mustard from a jar.

Here, for example, we learn that Hamburger William is devoid of vitamins, because he lives only on mustard. His pickle eyes impart no nutrition; neither his lettuce hair nor his Ripples earlobes or hideous fleshless onion teeth contain sufficient vitamins to keep him hale. But why should he worry? He’s dead. He’s gone to hell. Demons have peeled off his skin and replaced it with the cracked, glazed crust of ancient bread, jammed potato chips into his head and rammed a ketchup bottle up the gaping, bloody hole left when they ripped off his spinal cord.

Run For Your Lives - It's the Undead Vitamin Mascots They Call... Dayalets

And there's many more amusing mascots like these. Let me state, though, that Burger Bill looks like one crazy guy. I mean, you got to be a daredevil if you're eating mustard from a jar! There's nothing that says "life of the party" better than burgers, fries, and just a little bit of hooliganism. Look at Burger Bill. Not only is he all those things, he's made of meat.

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