Customer Reviews of Latawnya, the Naughty Horse

Doubtlessly, may of you have become aware of Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs — the children's book that features smoking, drinking, and overdosing horses. Since this story was uploaded on Something Awful, it seems one of the side effects are the reviews to be found about it on Amazon.com. It seems that many have been so touched by Latawnya's story that some abusers have finally given up drugs and some parents are now able to finally speak to their children about the dangers of narcotics.

It seems the imagery of horses is able help open peoples eyes to the dangers of drugs. Metaphors will do that to you. Take, for instance, this review.

As a responsible parent I often worry about my kids smoking drugs and drinking alcohol. I find it very difficult to discuss these topics frankly with my children, but this book has given me a way to approach them in a way kids can understand. By using the imagery of horses, Mrs. Gibson manages to evoke a fear of drugs that will hopefully make my children turn away from them without experimenting in any way shape or form. I can only hope Mrs. Gibson creates another book in which I can inform my children about the dangers of pre-marital sex.

Amazon.com: Reviews for Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs: Books: Sylvia S. Gibson

Echoing that sentiment, I believe a sequel highlighting the dangers of premarital sex. Author Sylvia Scott Gibson is an idea machine who, in addition to writing this superb book, is also an inventor. Indeed, she is not one to rest on her laurels.

I expect a sequel to come out sometime in 2008.

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Russian Animation that Trumps Any Acid Trip

Ivan Maximov is a bloody genius. I don't throw this term around lightly. One of my favourite scenes in animation is Pink Elephants on Parade. This little piece of animation above gives Disney a good run for its money.

This is almost like watching a lava lamp. Each shape morphs into another that doesn't immediately make sense but still provokes one's grey matter. Consequently, this is also why I state this feature trumps any acid trip. You don't get any of that nasty scabbing in one's brain to feel the full effects.

So give this a gander. It is fully worth five minutes of your time.

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Agitated Senior

Dennis the Menace should have slipped Thorazine into Mr. Wilson's lemonade. If he did that, though, we'd no longer have an interesting comic. So for the benefit of all, Thorazine thankfully never made it into comic book land.

Thorazine, by the way, has an interesting history. It is considered the penicillin of antipsychotics. At one point, 100 million people were prescribed it and it was responsible for the downsizing of many psychiatric hospitals. It has since fallen out of favour as there are many neuroleptics that have milder side effects.

Still, this ad is amusing since it could be regarded as too ageist to some and too absurd to be taken seriously by others. Perhaps this is a sign that we live in a far more extreme time than the 1950s. Still, I fully intend to blow up this ad and put it in my room.

Via Weirdomatic

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Philosophical Graffiti

I picture the vandal to be in a hazed stupor, and with his last dying embers of energy, he scrawls across the wall this message. He doesn't entirely know what he's writing — so removed from reality he is — but he writes it. And through the fog, what he writes just happens to be true.

Opium is for the masses, so it does not make sense to say something else is opium when opium does a pretty damn job being opium. I think the majority of us have been touched in someway by what exactly drugs can do to a person. We've all been touched by the tribulations of addiction even if (like myself) some of us have not been addicts ourselves. Religion is, for the most part, an idea. Opium, however, is a material commodity.

As for religion, it can be dangerous — but so can any idea. If we are going to condemn religion as a "drug", we might as well condemn any idea someone believes in. The more militant among you will decry religion as a fairy tale, and you may be right. But shall we then condemn fairy tales as being "opiates"?

One may say that fairy tales have not imposed as much damage on the world as religion. I am sure if one believed in fairy tales with as much conviction as religion, there would be mayhem. This is true of any idea that is believed passionately.

So the vandal is right. Religion isn't an opiate. Opium sure is, though.

Via Pictures of Walls

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Intoxicated "Macho Man" Randy Savage Interview

Believe me, I have no idea what Randy Savage is talking about, but it sure as hell seems to me that he is either high or portraying himself as high. Intoxication aside, this interview confirms a crawling suspicion I've had for a long time: wrestling was so much better in the 80s than it is now. Case in point, all he's doing is spouting off coked out gibberish, but he's doing so with such charisma.

"Because I can't sing and I can't dance, but I can make romance!" Damn, that hits the spot. That Macho Man is so smooth, you don't even care that hes not really saying anything.

In the 80s they could get away with that. All you had to do was hear Randy Savage go "OOOOH YEAAAH!" and you'd be instantly hooked. The wrestling didn't matter. That was secondary. The real reason to tune into the WWF was to hear a catch-phrase delivered right.

Man, I miss those days.

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Druggachusettes -- From Mr. Show

In my mind, Mr. Show is one of the most underrated sketch comedies ever produced and David Cross is one of the most underrated comedians living today. The above skit is proof. It's got everything: an absurd premise, potential to become overtly offensive, and just enough dose of reality to counter the fantasy.

Indeed, Drugachusettes would be a miserable children's show if actually produced. As I point out time and time again here, absurdity is by no means a guarantee that it isn't going to happen. If some misguided proponent for hallucinogens did decide to create a show for kids trying to raise awareness about the benefits thereof, I imagine it would look like this.

Herein lies the genius of Mr. Show. It may be silly, but not impossibly silly — and laughable if it came to pass. I miss that show.

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Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show

At first, I thought this was a parody, and why wouldn't I? It features all the earmarks of one. There's the alien singing songs written by Mary Baker Eddy, the smirking talents of James Quall, and the psychedelic transitional effects. Also, let's not forget the puppets. Chip the Black Boy is an unforgettable puppet.

So is this a parody? Evidently not! The puppeteer's name is David Nkrumah Liebe Hart and he looks something like this.



Apparently, the Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show is somewhat legendary amongst fans of Los Angeles public access television. The show has been teaching kids about UFOs and the dangers of drugs to kids since 1988. No word on how effective his show is at communicating this message, but it makes for entertaining television.

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An Alka Seltzer Commercial Featuring Salvador Dali

Whatever you think of Salvador Dali, there is no doubt that he was a clever marketer. Still, I never would have imagined he would have appeared in something as mundane as an Alka Seltzer commercial. Perhaps this was why he appeared in it. He successfully made the effects of Alka Seltzer come alive. He almost makes it into a work of art.

A few things I observe here is the frenetic pace of Dali's narration, how he makes the beautiful woman almost unnoticeable, and how he presents himself as "otherworldly" — this despite the commercial being about Alka Seltzer. You have to have a keen understanding of how the human imagination works in order to do that. This, at the least, is where Dali excelled at his art. Forget, for a moment, what you think of his art. He still knows where your eye is going to gravitate and what will intrigue you.

For good reason, then, he does a good job making me think about the effects of Alka Seltzer.

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Why One Should Not Attend Philosophy Class While on LSD

Yes, I am consciously aware that this is probably one of the most retarded "philosophy" dissertations every made, but I can't help it. If I didn't present retarded things every now and again, I would be discriminating against a whole realm of unusual things. As you know, discrimination is wrong. Therefore, in my attempt to be tolerant, I present to you one of the most retarded philosophical videos ever.

Here Phuckface Digitalis proves, once and for all, that existence exists. His tools of logic are bright colours, licking a bush, and smashing a television. I, for one, am now totally convinced. I had my doubts. Whereas before I thought I may have just been imagining my own existence, I now know I am wrong. Existence definitely exists. The tub of sauerkraut proves it.

So forget the Matrix. Forget all those post-modernist philosophers who believe life is just a literary interpretation to be examined. Existence exists. If it didn't, I would be able to will this retarded video away.

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Swedish Self-Cleaning Toilet

Jasmine, one of my MySpace friends, has forwarded me along to this great commercial. There's something about a cocaine-sniffing model whose day is ruined by a self-cleaning toilet that really makes me laugh out loud. Admit it, you like the fact this pretty lady was denied the satisfaction of some white lines.

Thanks Jasmine for the heads up.

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Postcard From a Meth Lady

Click on the pic above to see a larger version.

Picture this in your head. Your friend Bob goes on vacation, perhaps to some place exotic (like Spain). You go about your business, almost forget that he is on vacation — he's been in Spain for almost two months. Then one day, as you are drinking coffee in the morning, the above postcard gets tossed into your mailbox.

You discover it is from your friend. After spewing out coffee, you begin to panic. Is Bob confessing his deep dark secret? Is his vacation simply a means to flee whichever troubles he has at home? For good reason, you're worried. Bob thinks he's being followed by elves.

Well, now you know the practicality of the postcard above. Here's a little idea for some mayhem. Go on vacation. After a little bit of time away, send a friend this postcard. Watch as the drama unfolds.

So, if you're willing to go through the trials of an unneeded intervention, all you need to do is print this picture and make use of it.