Are People Supposed to Bend That Way?

That's it. I'm finally convinced. My next girlfriend is going to be a circus performer. I can't wait till Barnum and Bailey come to town again.

With this in mind, I can't believe there are three of them, that they can sing, and that they can turn themselves into one giant wheel. What more can you ask for in a woman?

And so, it is with great sadness with noticing that, if these women are still alive, they are probably in diapers at a retirement home. Fate, why dost thou mock me?

There is still hope, though. Hopefully, in some Romanian village there lurks a gumby-limbed cutie with a beautiful voice. Thus, the search continues for me.

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Japanese-Style Western Cutlery of the Early Meiji Period

Let it never be said that learning how to use Western cutlery is easy to learn. Sure, you may have no problem using a knife and fork, but what about for Japanese people of the Early Meiji period? From their perspective, not only was it hard to learn but it was easy get injured by it.

along with the influx of western culture in the early meiji period came western styles of eating. however, number of injuries caused by the mishandling of western cutlery, with its sharp blades and pointed tines. the collections of cutleries were developed to enable their users to experience the new style of eating with traditional and more familiar material.

hiroko shiratori

As you can see, it's not only recently that Japanese folk have been taking Western inventions and putting their own spin on it. While you may look at Sony, and Toyota, and Yamaha and think to yourself "neato!" just remember that there is a continuous historical precedent. Japan will continue to innovate for that is the nature of their culture. And we all are better for it.

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Coat Hanger Bear is Happy to See You!

Ah, japan. Land of unintentional sexual innuendo. How I love that you give me a constant stream of stuff to write about. Here we have a little character I'd like to affectionately call Coat Hanger Bear.

And he is very happy to see you. Very very happy. You see, Coat Hanger Bear has a smile, his arms are extended for a friendly embrace, and — as I don't have to strongly point out — his hooks are strongly positioned. What better way for a friendly animal pal to help you with your coat.

This product features some brand new technology by 3M, by the way. It's got a re-usable Command adhesive so that you can use it over and over and over again. Just like the little slut that it is.

Via Texyt

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Gung-ho for the Chung

This painting is called Major Inconvenience!! and was created by David Chung, a.k.a The Chung. It is a serious art piece as noted by the fact it was created with acrylic on wood. Sad to say, it is already sold.

I say it is sad because this really is something I myself would buy. The Chung seems to have the ability to meld together "cute" and "absurd" in one unbelievable package. It is cartoonish, but not in the awful manga style that everybody seems so enthused about but which seems so uniform. Rather, what makes cartoons so exciting to me is that you can do things one cannot with flesh and bone. This artwork is a vivid example of what I mean.

Then again, what else can I expect from a crippled Dance Dance Revolution superstar?

Cat and Deer

Cat and Deer is a fun flash animation featuring two DJs that happen to be a cat and deer. That is, it is fun if you are not an epileptic. There are many abounding explanations why I say this, but let me give you two.

First of all, it is in the realm of things I would like to call "cutesplode". This means that your eyes are bound to burst their blood vessels to overexposure to cute. It happens sometimes when one encounters a basket full of puppies so be on your guard the next time that happens. Here, though, you also have to be on your guard for it could happen to you.

The other noteworthy facet of Cat and Deer is the music — which I'd like to term "anime on a cotton candy binge". The song is so unbelievably catchy yet twitchy, one can easily ingest straight-up white sugar just to wash everything down. As we speak, I'm having a sugar rush because I'm listening to this song too much. You have been forewarned.

Between these two factors, Cat and Deer may be one of the brightest, most colourful and catchy flash animation I've seen in years. Just be sure to not play this with your five-year-old daughter around.

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How to Avoid Bad Luck

I don't totally approve of this, but here's what I think happened. As you know, black cats are bad luck and are to be avoided at all costs — for they might cross your path. But cats are quite agile beasts and quite clever as well. The only way to really prevent bad luck then is to stick the cat in a place whereby it is impossible to escape.

This sewer hole then is the perfect candidate. It's body can go through the hole, but its head acts as a plug. Hence, there is no recourse. The cat stays put. It cannot enact terror upon an innocent man's life.

That's how I believe the cat ended up this way.

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We'll Be Massacred by Cute: Pictures to Prove It

I am sure C.J. Patterson is probably a very nice lady. Also, I am sure the children she photographs are absolutely adorable, pleasant kids to be around, and I'd probably give one of them one of my kidneys if needed. With that said, there's something really eery about her photography.

To begin with, she seems too gothic to be in this line of work. Her picture seems to prove it. As a result — although all the kids she photographs are very cute — they are cute in the way Children of the Corn were cute. Doesn't the boy above, for instance, look like he'd enjoy having a bloody knife in his hand? Come on, I know you're thinking the same thing.

For further evidence, let's start with the name of her company. It is called "Angel Eyes Photography". C.J. Patterson says she named the company after how her daughters eyes reminded her of angels. You almost convinced me. However, as any spaghetti western connoisseur knows, Angel Eyes was Clint Eastwoods nemesis in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Played by Lee Van Cleef, Angel Eyes was one sadistic son of a gun.

Moreover, take a look at her logo. She probably developed it before the Grudge 2 came out, but the resemblance to that blue kid in the movie is uncanny. It's as though she summoned the development of the logo through telepathy with horror film screen writers.

My final exhibit is from a post from C.J.'s blog.

I feel so blessed to photograph such adorable children! All of my clients have the cutest kids!! Little ladies, watch out! These boys are going to be some heartbreakers when they grow up!

INSIDE ANGEL EYES

Aside from Ms. Patterson's fondness for exclamation marks, her writing seems to be a subliminal warning to whomever would dare stop the onslaught of the adorable children. These boys are indeed going to be heartbreakers when they grow up. Quite literally.