Japanese Woman Lives as a Hamster

My God, I love Japan. Whenever I need something to write about, and I am edging writer's block, Japanese people bail me out every time. There is always something "quixotical" to write about when it comes to Japan.

Such is the case here where performance artist Sako Kojima decided to go to France and live as a hamster. During that time, she ran around, bit wood and paper, and scratched walls — as a hamster. And as an added bonus, she donned a fursuit.

But pray tell, why did she desire to live as a hamster?

At present I'm 　　interested in the psychology of diseased human psychology for the civilized world, because it's the almost same as my pain. Human is thinking animal therefore, we tire, sad, go mad. I'm thinking, I want to become just a small animal, because they don't meditate, they aren't thinking deep. It's the reason, I'm doing animal performance. But all of my works are rather optimistic than gloomy. At first sight, the works appear unique and cute but after time the works show a sense of irony pain and sadness of individual human experience.

Sako Kojima - Works

So apparently, the reason behind all of this was because she was tired of thinking but she wanted to also express a sense of irony about the human experience. And she thought the best means of doing this was to live as a hamsters.

I will submit, though, that she forgot the most important part about being a hamster: the hamster wheel. What kind of hamster are you if you can't get on that hamster wheel and make a good run of it? For, isn't it the experience of running but ultimately going nowhere that belies the futility of human experience?

Exploding a Dead Whale with Dynamite

In 1970, a sperm whale washed up on the beach of Oregon. State Troopers didn't know what to do, so they simply decided to load the whale with 20 cases of dynamite and let 'em rip. Thankfully, this was caught on tape.

The most hilarious aspect of this explosion was the whale debris that made its way through the air. Certainly, it wouldn't have been so funny if someone got killed by a flying piece of whale blubber, but to damage a car? I defy you to not think that is funny.

Via Neatorama

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Cat and Dog Play a Duet on the Piano

One of the more popular trends on YouTube are animals playing the piano. I will grant this is pretty impressive. However, nothing beats this: two mortal enemies of the animal world decide to set down together and play a piece of winsome music on the piano.

This piece, as you might know, represents the discord of the animal world. When one is an animal, one does not where the future may lay. It is kill or be killed. Hunter versus prey. Being an animal is rife with existential angst and no song better captures this grief than this song here.

So if you will close your eyes, and listen carefully, you will hear the soul immanent in this piece. Enrapture yourself in this wonderful memory. Remember that dogs and cats, even though they may not get along, still find it in themselves to play beautiful music together.

Colombian Donkey Love

As absurd as the above investigative report is, it gets even more absurd than that. As if sex with donkeys wasn't enough, there is a "Festival del Burro" (Donkey Festival) in the town of San Antero that celebrates sex with donkeys. This even includes dressing up the donkeys in tantalizing costumes and dousing them in make-up to make them look more attractive. Don't ask me if it makes them look more appealing.

Also don't ask me how there came to be a tradition of sex with donkeys. It can't be that there are no willing women. I mean, there are always willing women. I'm not even going to attempt to hypothesize this one. Except to say that donkey sex is sick.

Via Prose Before Hos

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Interspecies Transformations: How to Become a Horse

After reading this account of The Secret in practice, I believe it is right and good for me to say what should have been said a long time ago: you can't always get what you want. Something won't come into being if you wish upon it hard enough. Not everyone is going to be an astronaut. People born with X and Y chromosones will never have babies. Moreover, no human being is ever going to become a horse.

But the internet has heard enough about furries and otherkin, and so have I. Fact of the matter is they are yesterday's news. So while I feel these folks still are victims of their own self-deception, I don't care any more to point out their insanity.

I mention them, though, to point out an even more absurd case: interspecies transformations, specifically of the equine-human variety. For these folks, it is not enough to simply say they are horses trapped in human bodies. They are actually wanting to do it and I do believe they've attempted it (a practice that is claimed as dangerous). In other words, the only thing left to do is plastic surgery — something I believe South Park has addressed.

I'm going to leave it up to you to decide whether parody or satire is even worth producing when there are ideas like interspecies transformations floating about. If people can subscribe to this without any sense of irony, then I'm afraid all is for naught. And frankly, I don't think I want to be in a society where people claim to be horses.

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Octopus Art

There seems to be a blog for every niche. No truer is this than with Octopia, a blog that specializes not just in octopii or art — but octopii depicted in art. Boy, there seems to be lots of material too so far.

It's fascinating to me that a Yale student would have such a particular fascination with cephalopods. Not that this is anything worth discouraging. Afterall, it is an interesting subject. I just wonder how she finds material on something so specialized. I mean, it's hard enough for me to showcase quixoticals — and I'm quite eclectic. This girl, therefore, must be pretty dedicated.

As far as octopii as animals are concerned, I hear they have the intelligence of a dog. It is a wonder to me that nobody has bothered to keep one as a pet. Does anyone know if they do tricks?

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Creating a Mouse Out of a Mouse

A little birdie by the name of Amanda sent me this howto of how to turn a mouse into a computer mouse. That's not a manufactured toy mouse. That's a veritable, 100% deceased mouse that has been turned into a computer mouse with a USB plugin — complete with a working scroll wheel and optical sensor! Rightfully so, it has been dubbed the "mouse mouse".

It's nice to see taxidermy put to new and exciting uses. As you probably know, bear rugs are so passe, and tigers are too rare. Mice, though, are easy to come by and have very short life spans. In short, they are the perfect candidate for stuffing and you can make them into lots of other things besides mice. I'm thinking wallets, cameras, and MP3 players.

To give you a personal anecdote, there's a huge mouse infestation at my job. Today, a mouse crawled into a coworker's purse in order to eat a cookie she had in there. Suffice it to say, there was some high drama. Well, I think this would be the perfect scenario for a mouse mouse. The punishment for making one's way into a lady's purse should be taxidermy.

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Custom Made Wigs for Dogs

If I didn't know better, I would consider this "art". I'm not saying this isn't art, but what I am saying is that these custom wigs for dogs are clearly made without any irony in mind, nor is there any social commentary going on, and its chief purpose is not simply as a novelty.

Dog wigs are a serious business. The proprietor of these particular wigs is none other than Ruth Regina, an eighth generation wig maker whose credentials include "the Miss Universe Pageants (14 years), National Presidential Conventions (both Democratic and Republican) to Al Pacino and Demi Moore films, and seven Presidents of the United States". This woman has been actively involved as a Hollywood make-up artist, so she would not get into the dog wig business just for kicks.

In other words, the demand is clearly there. There are folks — presumably rich folks — who would pay good money for a custom wig for their dog from this master craftswoman. This would not just be a simple wigging template, but a highly stylized, tailor-made, well-groomed wig fitted for that particular dog.

And that's where I feel justified in saying that pets are not necessarily the big business: anthropomorphism is. Dogs are just happy if you're willing to play catch with them and feed them some food. Humans, however, would like to feel like their pets are somehow like them. People are constantly searching for their own image in animals. If that means visiting the wig master who will deck the dog out in custom fittings, so be it.

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How Would Richard Dawkins Amend the United Nations Constitution?

Well, if this article on Wikipedia is to be believed, Richard Dawkins would confer basic legal rights on non-human great apes. This would mean chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans. Furthermore, every great ape would be given the right to life, the protection of individual liberty, and the prohibition of torture. That means no more zoos, no more medical experiments, and no more euthanasia without the great ape's consent.

I bring this up, of course, because Richard Dawkins is a well respected scientist and is a mascot of sorts to atheists. His opinion matters to many people. In contrast, the Great Ape Project is — to put it bluntly — potentially controversial. For him to lend his name to such a project intrigues me immensely.

I want to invite your opinion. Is Richard Dawkins right? Should there be a Declaration of the Rights of Great Apes? If so, how should humans stand in relation to great apes?

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Neuticles

Neuticles, the invention that won the 2005 Ig Nobel prize for Medicine, is — in my opinion — yet another example of humanity's attempt to anthropomorphize nature. Every year, some fellow is mauled in a zoo trying to get into an animal's cage in the mistaken belief there is some "human" connection to be found. That, of course, is an extreme example.

The desire to add testicular implants to a neutered dog adds a sexualized element to these proceedings. It is not necessarily a direct erotic motive, either. Rather, it is more so a sense of guilt. This is what I ascertain from what Neuticles' customers say about why they decided to purchase silicone-based testicular implants.

"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane
Oak Park, Ill

What Pet Owners Are Saying About: Neutering With NEUTICLES

Hence, Neuticles seems to traffic in a certain neurosis: the trauma a pet owner feels when he denies his pet the privilege of sexual expression. It is not about the animal losing his testicles; it is about the trauma a pet owner goes through when he gets his dog's testicles removed. How would you feel if you went to the doctor and you unknowingly got castrated?

Of course, the satirical possibilities are endless as shown by this website devoted to dog condoms. Never deny the power of neurotic anthropomorphism. Especially when you throw in sex and guilt into the equation