quixoticals

Woman Accidently Inhales Condom

2007-07-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

Apparently, this actually happened to a woman in India. I have a hard time believing it, but hey, odder things have occurred. If the doctor made his prognosis, who am I to argue with it?

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe. Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.
Accidental condom inhalation. [Indian J Chest Dis Allied Sci. 2004 Jan-Mar] - PubMed Result

I'm going to ask what many of you are undoubtedly thinking. How the hell do you forget inhaling a condom? How can you show up at the doctor's office after that event and say, "I've got this terrible infection and I just don't know how I got it?" I mean, isn't inhaling a condom a guaranteed memorable event?

Don't even get me started on how it happened. She must have been so bloody enthusiastic that she neglected to notice the condom slipping off. Even more shocking is that she didn't swallow, she inhaled. Clearly, this is a woman who gives blowjobs like they're going out of business.

Now all you alpha males out there who are planning on tracking down this woman to get her to repeat this performance, please don't. She's been through enough. You'll kill her. You don't need that hanging over your head.

The Drinky Crow Show is Quite Intense

2007-07-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

This is the first thirty seconds of the Drinky Crow Show, which aired its pilot on Adult Swim last May. I believe this opening sequence represents everything good about the show — namely, that Drinky is a pathological mess who, when he is not busy getting drunk, is trying commit suicide. It is also worth mentioning that the theme song was composed and performed by They Might Be Giants.

The premise can be funny, if only the hyperactivity was notched up a bit. The pilot was equal parts inspired but staid. Too much focus is on Uncle Gabby, and not enough focus is on Drinky's violent tendencies. Still, what this pilot excels at is genuinely "WTF" moments that gross you out so much, you must laugh.

For your perusal, I have these links to the pilot episode broken up into two parts.

Further thoughts: this could be a great show. Hopefully, the Cartoon Network sees the promise here, and produces more episodes. The Simpsons, you will recall, took years to get where it is today. There is not enough absurdist humour in cartoons today (with the exception of South Park), and hopefully the Drinky Crow Show will pile it on.

Child Rapper Wants You to Know Mother Nature's Crying

2007-07-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

Unlike other child pop stars, Lil Peppi actually has talent. Maybe he's not a prodigy, but definitely can rap better than me. It's to bad his father is managing him because this everything but his rapping is pretty awful.

Everything about this operation screams, "father is trying to live vicariously". It was Lil Peppi's father, afterall, that shot this music video. From the looks of it, he also wroter the bio on Lil Peppi's website.

Like most kids, I love school and I hope to go to college one day and attend the University of Miami, GO CANES! I Spend most of my time reading adventure stories, writing short stories, writing lyrics, playing playstation2, skateboarding, and of course doing music.
Lil Peppi, Peppi - ABOUT ME

Yeah, right. Most kids like school. Because we all know American public schools are overburdened with eight-year-old boys who can't wait to do their homework.

Now there is a time when parents must realize that if their children are talented, they must let nature take its course. Let the child do his own thing — with dad's encouragement. Don't force the outcome.

Besides, if daddy was a good rapper, he would have produced this golden turd of a video.

Klingon Poetry

2007-07-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

A group of enthusiasts got together to write a compendium of Klingon Poetry. The thing is, I actually think it's pretty good. Sure, it is cheesy, but it's not a winking cheese. It's a good cheese, and earnest cheese, the kind of cheese only a loving fan can make. This also has the advantage of being readable.

Here's an except. This poem is called My Beloved and is written by K'Chara (whoever that is).

My blood runs cold
As I look upon the face
Of my beloved
His eyes are empty
Dead
I hold his eyes open
And scream
My rage
My anger
My fear
My heart breaks
I howl
I warn the others
A mighty warrior is coming
I look at the battle with new eyes
My blood boils
And now
The battle truly begins.

Visions of Victory (PDF)

Do I think this stands on its own? Actually, I do. If nothing else, it is entertaining and keeps my eyes on the page. That is all I ask, really.

"The Force is a Tool of Satan", Say Star Wars Protesters

2007-07-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

Now, before all of you get up in arms about this, let me state what may not be so obvious. This is a prank. Mind you, this is an effective prank precisely because such protests are everyday occurrences. The extreme religious fringe will protest anything and everything. My guess is that someday they will protest gravity too.

The greater story here is that the pranksters are using this protest as a means to sell t-shirts and posters. One of the posters say, "R2-DEMON-2 is a FALSE God". From a business perspective, this is brilliant. Trolling Star Wars fans and Jesus fans is a surefire way to get one's coffee mugs sold.

Not everyone is happy about it, though. Jack, a devout Christian, believes these pranksters are provoked merely by cynicism.

Your are 'trolls', just not in a virtual community.

I will pray for all of you, and that you will regain your faith in our lord soon, and not continue to solely use him as a launchpad for your cause.
Jesus is not a gimmick, even though when you were growing up people were trying to make him one.
TOOL OF SATAN - Exposing the Dark Lord's Activities on Earth - FORUMS AND DISCUSSIONS

My own opinion is that this is very funny. Andy Kaufmann himself would approve. I don't think they went far enough, though. These fellows need to go the Fred Phelps route and boycott Blockbuster, write hymns, and harass convention goers. And they should make a bold point about how God Hates Star Wars!

Metapedia -- The Encyclopedia for Racists, by Racists

2007-07-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

Is Conservapedia just too liberal commie for you? Fret no more, my dear Fascist. There is now a home for you too.

Indeed, at Metapedia, they don't let asinine things such as the facts get in the way. The most important thing, at the end of the day, is to rewrite dictionary terms. Take, for instance, this entry for "Native American".

Native American in it's historical meaning was a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant born in the United States of America. After 1960 leftists started using term for American Indians.
Native american - Metapedia

Wow! It seems that the real Lamanites first went to England then went to America. It's all beginning to make sense now.

But, pretending to take this entry seriously for a moment, I wonder if the English settlers arrived at Plymouth Rock and exclaimed — wearily and with tears in their eyes — "At last, we Native Americans can escape from our land of persecution and practice our faith freely in this strange New World which we now alternately pronounce to be the land of our ancestors of which we've never left."

Are you as confused as I am?

Video of Mom Breastfeeding Her 8-Year-Old Daughter

2007-07-24T00:45:00.000-07:00

I've heard stuff like this happening, but I haven't seen it myself. Who am I to judge this mother for not weaning her daughter? She seems to believe very much that what she is doing is the right thing and best for her child's well-being. To that, I say let science and psychology decide that one.

However, I do imagine a potential tug-of-war between mother and daughter. The mother believes eventually the breast-feeding will stop and that her daughter's desire to grow up will overcome her need for milk. On the other hand, the daughter can't imagine ever getting weaned. She wants to continue forever.

Now I know most of you are going to say the mother's expectation is logical. But what if it doesn't happen? What if her daughter really does want to be breast-fed at the age of 24? That sounds insane, I know, but this blog would not exist if such events did not happen.

Suspend your disbelief for a moment. What if another documentary is made 16 years later about the daughter still being breastfed?

Scientific Proof that Rats Can Laugh if You Tickle Them

2007-07-24T00:08:00.000-07:00

We often think of rats as sombre characters — victims of poison and carriers of the black plague. For good reason. Wild rats are disgusting. I worked for a kitchen one time that had to close down due to a rat infestation. You'll be spared the grisly details, but my opinion of rats was forever changed after that event.

Despite this, I can't believe rats are pure evil. What animal can be if evil if it laughs when you tickle it? For sure, there is such a thing as evil laughter. But such laughter is not a result of tickling.

With this in mind, perhaps the Middle Ages would have been a lot better if someone sent a stand-up comedian who could communicate with rats through rodent squeaks.

Japanese Woman Lives as a Hamster

2007-07-23T02:19:00.000-07:00

My God, I love Japan. Whenever I need something to write about, and I am edging writer's block, Japanese people bail me out every time. There is always something "quixotical" to write about when it comes to Japan.

Such is the case here where performance artist Sako Kojima decided to go to France and live as a hamster. During that time, she ran around, bit wood and paper, and scratched walls — as a hamster. And as an added bonus, she donned a fursuit.

But pray tell, why did she desire to live as a hamster?

At present I'm 　　interested in the psychology of diseased human psychology for the civilized world, because it's the almost same as my pain. Human is thinking animal therefore, we tire, sad, go mad. I'm thinking, I want to become just a small animal, because they don't meditate, they aren't thinking deep. It's the reason, I'm doing animal performance. But all of my works are rather optimistic than gloomy. At first sight, the works appear unique and cute but after time the works show a sense of irony pain and sadness of individual human experience.
Sako Kojima - Works

So apparently, the reason behind all of this was because she was tired of thinking but she wanted to also express a sense of irony about the human experience. And she thought the best means of doing this was to live as a hamsters.

I will submit, though, that she forgot the most important part about being a hamster: the hamster wheel. What kind of hamster are you if you can't get on that hamster wheel and make a good run of it? For, isn't it the experience of running but ultimately going nowhere that belies the futility of human experience?

60s Era Anti-Pornography Propaganda Film

2007-07-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

George Putnam seems to know a lot about porn. If, as this film purports, one becomes a pervert upon seeing pornography — and therefore unable to see sex as a "normal" person — his mind must be infected! Also, it seems like these filmmakers must have sifted through a lot of porn. They knew just where to strategically place those bars. Or they must have been wearing some special radiation glasses to protect their eyes from the virus that is pornography.

But what I'm mostly interested in is the teenage flagrant abuses of the God-given gift of sex. Tell me, what kind of porn were they producing in the 60s? Either that, or I must have missed out on one hell of a good time during my teenage years.

Yet another question: what's with the fixation on the "breast fetish"? I mean, was it common amongst men of yesteryear to go after A-cupped cuties?

But the best part is when he speaks about the "strange cult of flagellation" and the "sexual problems of the masochist". In particular, Mr Putnam seems quite offended about the "worship of the whip". To this, I ask, if the masochist worshipped Jesus instead and called it Christian domestic discipline would he feel a little better about the whole thing?

quixoticals

Woman Accidently Inhales Condom

The Drinky Crow Show is Quite Intense

Child Rapper Wants You to Know Mother Nature's Crying

Klingon Poetry

"The Force is a Tool of Satan", Say Star Wars Protesters

Metapedia -- The Encyclopedia for Racists, by Racists

Video of Mom Breastfeeding Her 8-Year-Old Daughter

Scientific Proof that Rats Can Laugh if You Tickle Them

Japanese Woman Lives as a Hamster

60s Era Anti-Pornography Propaganda Film

Most Hilarious Protest Sign by a Religious Nut

Scripture Verses on In-N-Out Burger Packaging

How to Encourage Abstinence to Kids

Taxidermy That's Just Wrong

Zentai -- A Radical Fashion Statement

The Man Who Rapes Puppets

Guess Who Holds This Klan Member's Life in Their Hands?

Inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center Dance to Sister Act

Buttered Floors Create Pain

Exploding a Dead Whale with Dynamite

The Horniest Man of the Victorian Era

Woman Wins Right to Eat Her Placenta

How to Be a Cult Leader

Man Finds Severed Hand in a Garage

Gwar Puts Joan Rivers in Her Place