Woman Accidently Inhales Condom

Apparently, this actually happened to a woman in India. I have a hard time believing it, but hey, odder things have occurred. If the doctor made his prognosis, who am I to argue with it?

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe. Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.

Accidental condom inhalation. [Indian J Chest Dis Allied Sci. 2004 Jan-Mar] - PubMed Result

I'm going to ask what many of you are undoubtedly thinking. How the hell do you forget inhaling a condom? How can you show up at the doctor's office after that event and say, "I've got this terrible infection and I just don't know how I got it?" I mean, isn't inhaling a condom a guaranteed memorable event?

Don't even get me started on how it happened. She must have been so bloody enthusiastic that she neglected to notice the condom slipping off. Even more shocking is that she didn't swallow, she inhaled. Clearly, this is a woman who gives blowjobs like they're going out of business.

Now all you alpha males out there who are planning on tracking down this woman to get her to repeat this performance, please don't. She's been through enough. You'll kill her. You don't need that hanging over your head.

The Drinky Crow Show is Quite Intense

This is the first thirty seconds of the Drinky Crow Show, which aired its pilot on Adult Swim last May. I believe this opening sequence represents everything good about the show — namely, that Drinky is a pathological mess who, when he is not busy getting drunk, is trying commit suicide. It is also worth mentioning that the theme song was composed and performed by They Might Be Giants.

The premise can be funny, if only the hyperactivity was notched up a bit. The pilot was equal parts inspired but staid. Too much focus is on Uncle Gabby, and not enough focus is on Drinky's violent tendencies. Still, what this pilot excels at is genuinely "WTF" moments that gross you out so much, you must laugh.

For your perusal, I have these links to the pilot episode broken up into two parts.

• Drinky Crow EP0 Part 1
  
• Drinky Crow EP0 Part 2

Further thoughts: this could be a great show. Hopefully, the Cartoon Network sees the promise here, and produces more episodes. The Simpsons, you will recall, took years to get where it is today. There is not enough absurdist humour in cartoons today (with the exception of South Park), and hopefully the Drinky Crow Show will pile it on.

Child Rapper Wants You to Know Mother Nature's Crying

Unlike other child pop stars, Lil Peppi actually has talent. Maybe he's not a prodigy, but definitely can rap better than me. It's to bad his father is managing him because this everything but his rapping is pretty awful.

Everything about this operation screams, "father is trying to live vicariously". It was Lil Peppi's father, afterall, that shot this music video. From the looks of it, he also wroter the bio on Lil Peppi's website.

Like most kids, I love school and I hope to go to college one day and attend the University of Miami, GO CANES! I Spend most of my time reading adventure stories, writing short stories, writing lyrics, playing playstation2, skateboarding, and of course doing music.

Lil Peppi, Peppi - ABOUT ME

Yeah, right. Most kids like school. Because we all know American public schools are overburdened with eight-year-old boys who can't wait to do their homework.

Now there is a time when parents must realize that if their children are talented, they must let nature take its course. Let the child do his own thing — with dad's encouragement. Don't force the outcome.

Besides, if daddy was a good rapper, he would have produced this golden turd of a video.

Klingon Poetry

A group of enthusiasts got together to write a compendium of Klingon Poetry. The thing is, I actually think it's pretty good. Sure, it is cheesy, but it's not a winking cheese. It's a good cheese, and earnest cheese, the kind of cheese only a loving fan can make. This also has the advantage of being readable.

Here's an except. This poem is called My Beloved and is written by K'Chara (whoever that is).

My blood runs cold
As I look upon the face
Of my beloved
His eyes are empty
Dead
I hold his eyes open
And scream
My rage
My anger
My fear
My heart breaks
I howl
I warn the others
A mighty warrior is coming
I look at the battle with new eyes
My blood boils
And now
The battle truly begins.

Visions of Victory (PDF)

Do I think this stands on its own? Actually, I do. If nothing else, it is entertaining and keeps my eyes on the page. That is all I ask, really.

"The Force is a Tool of Satan", Say Star Wars Protesters

Now, before all of you get up in arms about this, let me state what may not be so obvious. This is a prank. Mind you, this is an effective prank precisely because such protests are everyday occurrences. The extreme religious fringe will protest anything and everything. My guess is that someday they will protest gravity too.

The greater story here is that the pranksters are using this protest as a means to sell t-shirts and posters. One of the posters say, "R2-DEMON-2 is a FALSE God". From a business perspective, this is brilliant. Trolling Star Wars fans and Jesus fans is a surefire way to get one's coffee mugs sold.

Not everyone is happy about it, though. Jack, a devout Christian, believes these pranksters are provoked merely by cynicism.

Your are 'trolls', just not in a virtual community.

I will pray for all of you, and that you will regain your faith in our lord soon, and not continue to solely use him as a launchpad for your cause.
Jesus is not a gimmick, even though when you were growing up people were trying to make him one.

TOOL OF SATAN - Exposing the Dark Lord's Activities on Earth - FORUMS AND DISCUSSIONS

My own opinion is that this is very funny. Andy Kaufmann himself would approve. I don't think they went far enough, though. These fellows need to go the Fred Phelps route and boycott Blockbuster, write hymns, and harass convention goers. And they should make a bold point about how God Hates Star Wars!

Metapedia -- The Encyclopedia for Racists, by Racists

Is Conservapedia just too liberal commie for you? Fret no more, my dear Fascist. There is now a home for you too.

Indeed, at Metapedia, they don't let asinine things such as the facts get in the way. The most important thing, at the end of the day, is to rewrite dictionary terms. Take, for instance, this entry for "Native American".

Native American in it's historical meaning was a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant born in the United States of America. After 1960 leftists started using term for American Indians.

Native american - Metapedia

Wow! It seems that the real Lamanites first went to England then went to America. It's all beginning to make sense now.

But, pretending to take this entry seriously for a moment, I wonder if the English settlers arrived at Plymouth Rock and exclaimed — wearily and with tears in their eyes — "At last, we Native Americans can escape from our land of persecution and practice our faith freely in this strange New World which we now alternately pronounce to be the land of our ancestors of which we've never left."

Are you as confused as I am?

Video of Mom Breastfeeding Her 8-Year-Old Daughter

I've heard stuff like this happening, but I haven't seen it myself. Who am I to judge this mother for not weaning her daughter? She seems to believe very much that what she is doing is the right thing and best for her child's well-being. To that, I say let science and psychology decide that one.

However, I do imagine a potential tug-of-war between mother and daughter. The mother believes eventually the breast-feeding will stop and that her daughter's desire to grow up will overcome her need for milk. On the other hand, the daughter can't imagine ever getting weaned. She wants to continue forever.

Now I know most of you are going to say the mother's expectation is logical. But what if it doesn't happen? What if her daughter really does want to be breast-fed at the age of 24? That sounds insane, I know, but this blog would not exist if such events did not happen.

Suspend your disbelief for a moment. What if another documentary is made 16 years later about the daughter still being breastfed?

Scientific Proof that Rats Can Laugh if You Tickle Them

We often think of rats as sombre characters — victims of poison and carriers of the black plague. For good reason. Wild rats are disgusting. I worked for a kitchen one time that had to close down due to a rat infestation. You'll be spared the grisly details, but my opinion of rats was forever changed after that event.

Despite this, I can't believe rats are pure evil. What animal can be if evil if it laughs when you tickle it? For sure, there is such a thing as evil laughter. But such laughter is not a result of tickling.

With this in mind, perhaps the Middle Ages would have been a lot better if someone sent a stand-up comedian who could communicate with rats through rodent squeaks.

Japanese Woman Lives as a Hamster

My God, I love Japan. Whenever I need something to write about, and I am edging writer's block, Japanese people bail me out every time. There is always something "quixotical" to write about when it comes to Japan.

Such is the case here where performance artist Sako Kojima decided to go to France and live as a hamster. During that time, she ran around, bit wood and paper, and scratched walls — as a hamster. And as an added bonus, she donned a fursuit.

But pray tell, why did she desire to live as a hamster?

At present I'm 　　interested in the psychology of diseased human psychology for the civilized world, because it's the almost same as my pain. Human is thinking animal therefore, we tire, sad, go mad. I'm thinking, I want to become just a small animal, because they don't meditate, they aren't thinking deep. It's the reason, I'm doing animal performance. But all of my works are rather optimistic than gloomy. At first sight, the works appear unique and cute but after time the works show a sense of irony pain and sadness of individual human experience.

Sako Kojima - Works

So apparently, the reason behind all of this was because she was tired of thinking but she wanted to also express a sense of irony about the human experience. And she thought the best means of doing this was to live as a hamsters.

I will submit, though, that she forgot the most important part about being a hamster: the hamster wheel. What kind of hamster are you if you can't get on that hamster wheel and make a good run of it? For, isn't it the experience of running but ultimately going nowhere that belies the futility of human experience?

60s Era Anti-Pornography Propaganda Film

George Putnam seems to know a lot about porn. If, as this film purports, one becomes a pervert upon seeing pornography — and therefore unable to see sex as a "normal" person — his mind must be infected! Also, it seems like these filmmakers must have sifted through a lot of porn. They knew just where to strategically place those bars. Or they must have been wearing some special radiation glasses to protect their eyes from the virus that is pornography.

But what I'm mostly interested in is the teenage flagrant abuses of the God-given gift of sex. Tell me, what kind of porn were they producing in the 60s? Either that, or I must have missed out on one hell of a good time during my teenage years.

Yet another question: what's with the fixation on the "breast fetish"? I mean, was it common amongst men of yesteryear to go after A-cupped cuties?

But the best part is when he speaks about the "strange cult of flagellation" and the "sexual problems of the masochist". In particular, Mr Putnam seems quite offended about the "worship of the whip". To this, I ask, if the masochist worshipped Jesus instead and called it Christian domestic discipline would he feel a little better about the whole thing?

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Most Hilarious Protest Sign by a Religious Nut

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Religious nuts, in and of themselves, are not all that noteworthy. At least when it comes to the purposes of this blog. Truth be told, this guy's Reagan-style haircut and farmer plaid shirt just accentuates the exciting part about this placard.

Which is to say, he's being awfully specific about who is going to be judged by God — and the specificities are hilarious! What is it about these categories of people that raises his ire so much? Did they all make fun of his big ears or something?

Well, because you are probably interested in knowing which people are especially going to be judged by God, here's the list in a more presentable form.

• Pot Smoking Little Devils
  
• Lewd Women
  
• F se Religions
  
• Pencil Neck Weak Kneed Gutless Men
  
• Sports Nuts
  
• Rebellious Women
  
• Child Molesting Homosexuals
  
• Witches
  
• And Mormons
  
• Liar

So there you go. If you are any one of those people, you better get to repenting — right now! This guy looks for real, as though he's got God's ear. I wouldn't piss him off if I were you.

Via Weirdbiz

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Scripture Verses on In-N-Out Burger Packaging

I love In-N-Out Burger. On two occasions, I made trips to California just so I could dine at the best burger joint not yet established in Canada. For sure, In-N-Out Burger is kind of a greasy culinary Disneyland for me.

What I didn't notice, when I went to In-N-Out Burger, is the discreet Bible passages printed on the packaging. It's always in a spot you wouldn't look for, and the only allusion is the book, chapter, and verse. You would need a Bible handy to make use of the references.

Apparently, this is a practice that started in the 1980s when Rich Snyder was president of the company. A devout Christian, one suppose this was a means to preach the Word of God to unbelievers. After Rich passed on, the company continued this practice out of respect for him.

In case you were wondering which particular Bible verses were printed, and on which packaging, I have here a list.

• Burger and cheeseburger wrappers
  Revelation 3:20—"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me."
  
• Beverage cups and antenna toppers
  John 3:16—"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but drink the everlasting nectar of life."
  
• Milkshake cups
  Proverbs 3:5—"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own thirst."
  
• Double-Double wrapper
  Nahum 1:7—"The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of Satan's double trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him."
  
• Paper water cups, or "R-9's"
  John 14:6 —"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by the river of life."

In-N-Out Burger - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Frankly, I don't care what religious persuasion you are. I think it's cool to find secret messages. It's kind of like using a metal detector — but doing it with pop culture instead. It's the same feeling I get when I see the naked woman hidden in the ice on beer advertisements.

Via Blogadilla

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How to Encourage Abstinence to Kids

Get these people to show up at elementary schools and get them to demonstrate the kama sutra. Your kids will be so traumatized, so absolutely mortified, they won't even attempt foreplay. I'll bet money some of those kids will even enroll at a seminary.

Seriously, what kind of sex education is this? Those are the two most demented representations of genitalia I've ever seen. This isn't even fit for a NSFW label. The vagina is more similar to the Flying Spaghetti Monster than to a real vagina. And don't get me started on that penis. That penis is the most sickly, mutated thing formed. And what is up with that pubic hair?

If humans cease from all breeding, it will be because these two lunkheads showed up at every school on the planet and taught children the joy of lovemaking. Perhaps they have a stupid song to go with it. And maybe there's a brief warning about the evils of STDs. Thing is, after this presentation, not only will the next generation be STD-free, they'll also be pregnancy free too.

If you've seen Children of Men, you'll know it all makes sense now.

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Taxidermy That's Just Wrong

"What is this?" you must be asking. It is clearly a whole bunch of animals combined together to create one freaky thing. In short, it's the sor of monstrosity that can only be created through the magic of taxidermy.

A few bleeding hearts are going to say this is utterly wrong. I would have to agree with them — if by wrong, they meant totally awesome. Taxidermy is the most fun you can have with a dead thing. And if something's going to die, it's better that a human create some fucked up showpiece than a maggot. It seems I'm not the only one to think so either.

Animal lovers may find these sculptures distasteful and unpleasant to look at, but most Rogue Taxidermists consider themselves nature enthusiasts (many are vegans or vegetarians), and most see their work as a way of appreciating animals, and bringing them a new kind of life. Body parts are invariably acquired post mortem, either from salvaged roadkill, or through taxidermy supply companies, which trade in antlers, tails, teeth, claws, fur and wings. Other Rogue Taxidermists use offal from abbatoirs and slaughterhouses, or animals donated by vets after they’ve been “put to sleep”. These artists intuitively foreground what’s most disturbing about the process of taxidermy, which is the way it blurs the distinction between the living and the dead.

Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermy [MART]

Preach on, taxidermists. Preach on. In my opinion, this kind of art is much more exciting than the masses of fruitbowls and portraits I have seen. This here at least stirs some excitement in my blood. I'm seeing something totally new.

This, by the way, is a good thing.

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Zentai -- A Radical Fashion Statement

The practical use of a zentai suit is for a puppeteer, actor, or cosplayer to go about their work unnoticed. Literally, they are supposed to blend into the background. You know that nifty special effect in a movie that made you say "Gee wiz?" Done by a person in a Zentai suit who was later edited out by a computer.

Which is interesting because zentai is being used more and more as recreational clothing to lounge around in — especially in Japan. And not just as fetish wear either. Zentai suits are showing up in dance clubs, meditation studios, and shopping malls. A subculture is beginning to take shape around zentai.

For the most part, this has not yet touched the Wester world, but The Zentai Project is pioneering its recreational use.

We in The Zentai Project make occasional 'walkabouts' - trips with one or more people wearing zentai out in public places, and sometimes someone to take pictures. Walkabouts have happened all around the world, as you can see from the pictures in the gallery.

- The Zentai Project -

And I'm all for it. This is the perfect avenue to make a bold fashion statement but preserve one's anonymity. One can say the person attracted to zentai exhibits signs of attention whoredom. I disagree. The attention is on the suit and perhaps the body the suit is accentuating. There is no way, though, to identify the person inhabiting the suit.

Frankly, I find this kind of refreshing.

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The Man Who Rapes Puppets

This is one of the more weird puppet-related videos I've seen. The actor portraying the rapist is quite convincing. He really is a sick bastard. I'd lock him up too if I had a badge.

Believe it or not, there's more episodes. This is a pretty developed plot line, so I'm going to post the links to the other episodes.

• Episode 2
  
• Episode 3
  
• Episode 4
  
• Episode 5

I wonder how Janet Garrison would feel about such a sexual deviant. Indeed, Mr. Hat may need to be careful around such a monstrous being. For that matter, all of Sesame Street may need to be on Block Watch. And let's not forget about Howdy Doody. Poor Howdy Doody would never stand a chance.

Via jwz

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Guess Who Holds This Klan Member's Life in Their Hands?

Yet another reason why being a racist totally sucks. Let's say you get injured at that White Power rally. Let's also say you lose consciousness. Well, in such a situation, one cannot choose one's doctors.

Now, to be honest, I don't know the outcome of this situation. They could have done what I would have done and made a key incision at the "wrong" spot. Nobody would have known. Mistakes do happen in the emergency room.

Seeing how these are hospital staff who have have sworn the Hyppocratic Oath something tells me the did their best to save him — despite the fact he is a racist bastard who doesn't deserve the air he breathes. Hospital staff are like that. Perhaps he came away from this experience a changed man. Perhaps he realized that these hospital staff took the high road, stitched him up, and saved his intolerant ass.

The cynical part of me, though, believes he walked away just as intolerant as before — and maybe more smug.

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Inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center Dance to Sister Act

Inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilition have already become internet famous due to their rendition of Thriller. And they are very skilled at choreography. One only has to wonder about the greater purpose of these dances. This is better than Broadway, I believe! Perhaps the Phillipine government believes dancing can exorcise people's criminal tendencies.

Well, there is a slough of YouTube videos devoted to these inmates' dancing. This rendition of Sister Act is so peaceful and delicate. They're almost like gentle butterflies. And the guy in the nun outfit seems so spiritual.

But it's not all about gentleness. This is a Whoopi Goldberg musical, damn it! That means when the time comes, it is time to get down. These prisoners got the soul to get their bodies moving.

Someone's got to give these guys their own TV show. Or, at the very least, donate set pieces.

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Buttered Floors Create Pain

I feel guilty about laughing at this. This could have ended wrong for so many reasons. The prankster is lucky his roommate never broke his legs — or worse. But it is still funny — simply because it happens again and again. The roommate never learns to watch his step. His murderous rage at the end of the video is the piece de resistance.

Still, the guy who buttered the floors is a dick. He is extremely lucky this didn't end up in a lawsuit. Perhaps it would have been best for him to have been brought to court. I mean, he's bragging about what he did with this video. Maybe getting money removed from his pocket would have taught him an important lesson.

My moral qualms aside, I laugh every time I see this. I feel guilty every sin

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gle time I see this.

Exploding a Dead Whale with Dynamite

In 1970, a sperm whale washed up on the beach of Oregon. State Troopers didn't know what to do, so they simply decided to load the whale with 20 cases of dynamite and let 'em rip. Thankfully, this was caught on tape.

The most hilarious aspect of this explosion was the whale debris that made its way through the air. Certainly, it wouldn't have been so funny if someone got killed by a flying piece of whale blubber, but to damage a car? I defy you to not think that is funny.

Via Neatorama

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The Horniest Man of the Victorian Era

The man you see above is Jonty Selman-Troytt. He may seem like a pretty benign character, but you are looking at a man who fathered 97 children. He was pretty serious about it too, wanting to commence relations with his wife immediately after she bore him a baby — and would have too if he wasn't wrestled to the ground by the physician (just as he was cutting the umbilical cord).

More amusingly, he felt it was his duty to engage in trysts. And I doubt there are many men who share the extent of his enthusiasm.

Jonty eschewed the use of any form of contraception, maintaining that it was 'the work of the devil to contain any man's life-juice within a bag' and that 'women were designed to be filled. Anyone can see that.' After copulation he insisted that all partners should lie prone for a period of twelve hours to 'increase the chance of fertilising my seed'

His greatest ambition was to impregnate Marie Stopes - the birth control campaigner - whom he referred to as 'a perfect vessel in need of filling.' Although he was never successful she was so impressed by his obsessive persistence that she marked every 100 repetitions of his invitation to 'gouge your verdant valley with my rough, pointed glacier' with a congratulatory medal which Jonty displayed proudly thereafter.

Voracious sexual appetite in Victorian era

There are many men who are known for their promiscuousness. Wilt Chamberlain, for instance. What sets Jonty apart from every other man, though, is his sheer colourful language. It's not just a case of confidence, it's a case of obsession — he was obsessed with "filling" women.

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Woman Wins Right to Eat Her Placenta

It amazes me how susceptible people are to quack medicine. While present-day medicine is by no means perfect, it is still massively more dependendable than many "folk" solutions. This isn't to say that naturopathy is not effective. It is to say, though, that a medical doctor is more authoritative on medical matters than some random hippie.

Indeed, if you start ignoring medical science you could end up like this woman spent who massive amounts of time and money so she could obtain her placenta.

A woman has won a court fight to keep the placenta after her daughter's birth. She had planned to grind it up and ingest it as a way to fight postpartum depression, but now plans to bury it...

Swanson, who was 30 when she gave birth, originally wanted to give her placenta to a friend to be dried, ground into a powder and packed into capsules. She said she now plans to dry, store and eventually bury the organ instead of eating it.

"I hope this brings about a better awareness about the benefits of placenta," she said, citing a theory that placental hormones can help control postpartum blues.

Mother Wins Fight to Retrieve Placenta

Here I must disagree with SFGate's use of the word "theory". A theory is a reputable explanation for natural seen phenomena. I have yet to hear from a respected medical doctor who believes ingesting placenta will relieve women of post-partem depression.

Actually, I think this mother is acting quite irresponsibly. Placenta, as the article notes, is "human biohazardous waste". That means getting her friend to ingest her placenta is probably the wrong thing to do.

In the woman's defense, she has decided to bury it. Still, no credence should be given to this quackery. The fact that she sought to use this court case as a means to "raise awareness" of her silly ideas only proves she's learned nothing.

To this, I say if she really wants to make a case for placenta-ingesting, and it really is so important that she'll make noise in the courts, maybe she should spend her time at medical school and write a peer-reviewed doctoral thesis on it. That is unlikely, though.

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How to Be a Cult Leader

This one hits close to home for me. In college, I studied religion, and I know from first hand experience that much of this goes on. This movie gets me outraged because I know this happens all the time.

With this in mind, there are people who desire the social infrastructure a cult provides. I met a woman who joined the Jehovahs Witnesses not because she felt any of it was true, but because she loved the sense of order the organization provided. She was willing to believe anything they told her — quite consciously — because she lacked structure and community in her own life.

My own opinion is that belief systems should always be approached with an active mind. One should analyze whether religion adds to the richness of a person's personality or dilutes it. If one believes in God, it should be a personal belief. There is no "technique" in this. Let each person decide — independently — where their path lies.

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Man Finds Severed Hand in a Garage

But don't worry, it's a pretty old hand. Whoever lost their hand did so about 50-80 years ago. Still, how would you like finding a decaying hand while you are painting?

This is precisely what happened to Bo Jesperson when he was renovating an old house. At first, he thought it was a prop but then discovered decaying bone. I find his description of the hand to be both humourous and grisly.

He didn’t cut his nails," he added, describing it as a "workingman’s hand."

The wrist portion appeared jagged, Jespersen said, as if the hand had been removed violently, and 6 to 8 inches of what appeared to be tendons were looped around it.

The hand looked as if it had dried slowly.

"It looked like beef jerky," he said.

Severed human hand found in Waldoboro garage

I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm going to be eating beef jerky for a long time. There's a little part of me that will always wonder if I'm eating someone's decaying hands. It is irrational of me to feel this way, I know. But aren't all fears irrational?

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Gwar Puts Joan Rivers in Her Place

I can tell at the start of the segment that Joan Rivers wanted Gwar on her show to spew some moral outrage. And she totally failed. Part of her failure is that Gwar were so articulate and funny, she simply did not know how to respond.

She wanted to imply that, when people go to Gwar's show, they'd feel the sudden urge to commit acts of violence. Gwar's simple response was that such individuals should join the police force or army. Touche. If there are such pliable people, society certainly would have no problem with them entering occupations where violence is a requirement.

The brilliance of this interview is that Gwar shows clearly and succinctly the difference between fantasy and reality. Fantasy is where you dress up in outlandish Halloween costumes and have a good night out. Reality, on the other hand, is a moment you can't take back — a bludgeoned head, a tremourous hand, and blood that is shed. The differences between fantasy and reality are gaping.

I doubt Joan Rivers would be laughing if she believed Gwar fans were incapable of understanding the difference between fantasy and reality.

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Karen Greenlee, Necrophile

Karen Greenlee sleeps with dead men — and she has a particular taste for dead men in their early 20s. She first rose to prominence in the mid-80s when she stole a hearse and was not heard from for two days. Karen has a fascinating psychology. The odour of death does not repulse her — it turns her on.

What is particularly fascinating is that she is unrepentant about having sex with the dead. She does not feel a twinge of remorse when she recalls breaking into funeral parlours in order to sexually gratify herself. And frankly, she's going to have to break into funeral parlours since she was fired from Memorial Lawn Mortuary.

She elicits no sympathy from me. I will not give her an ounce of pity. When one desecrates the dead, one also mocks the families who mourn for their loved ones — as she pretty much admits to doing. Indeed, she even attended the funerals of the men she had sex with.

It was convenient working in the funeral homes. I'd get to drive out to the cemetery with the family. I'd get to mourn right along with the family at the loss of that loved one. Except I was groaning in a little different tone! People can't really tell if you're grief stricken or passion-stricken. I've had members of the families put their arms around me and say, "We're so glad you could come!" Then you have to spin this big old yarn, "Yeah, I knew him in school...." If the guy didn't have a girlfriend in life they think you were ... "Oh, she's the one!"

Karen Greenlee - The Unrepentant Necrophile

I don't know what bothers me more: that she actually had sex with the dead, or that she was "passion-stricken" when she mourned along with the family. It takes a lot of audacity to face the deceased's mother and feign concern when one is basically raping her dead son.

You will recall the documentary on men in love with their sex dolls. In many ways, necrophilia is similar. The key difference is that word "desecration". A sex doll has never lived, and so it is never harmed. When one has sex with a dead person, I feel their memory is being mocked.

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Fetus Soap

Under the tagline "What's more pure than fetus?!" some retailer associated with Yahoo is selling fetus-shaped soap. One slab of soap costs $6.00. If you make an order worth $50 or more, shipping is free. As you can see, some models are out of stock.

In these politicized times, it is sad that this novelty is considered "edgy". One can go to a farmer's market and buy newborn-shaped soap. But why is it, that when one sells novelties inspired by unborn babies, this is considered bad taste? It seems fetuses, unless used for political purposes, are strictly off limits.

And I am sure the maker of this fetus soap created it in order to be outrageous. Fair enough. But if such a novelty offends you, why does it? Why must we always equate fetuses with abortions?

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Kim Jong-Il Portrait Painted with Blood

Value of Blood is a pretty damn good painting. I feel it actually makes an thoughtful political statement. Kim Jong-Il is one of the few universally condemned leaders of a nation on this fair earth. Even China has an axe to grind against North Korea. I mean, here is a leader who has willfully starved his country to such an extent, its citizenry are eating bark.

The portrait itself is an interesing topic. This thing is huge — it measures 44" x 104". Kim Jong Il's ugly mug therefore occupies an ungodly amount of space. But of course, you probably want to know about the blood.

According to painter Phil Hansen, "500ml of my blood was used to make this picture of Kim Jong Il on a canvas of 6,000 bandages." For those keeping track of these things, that's about the size of a bottle of Coke. If you would like to know what the blood strokes look like, here is a detail. What a neat painting, eh?

Source: Phil Hansen

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The Mentally Handicapped Sure Know How to Rock and Roll!

This reminds me of that South Park episode where Timmy joins a band and becomes a rock and roll superstar. Just like in that South Park episode, people will doubtlessly believe that me posting this video is cruel. To that, I say the great thing about these guys is they are in your face, doing their own thing, and clearly enjoying it.

I mean, who knew this whole crowd would get so into hardcore punk? This is much like the scenes I saw when I was a teenager going to all ages shows. The difference, of course, is that the mentally handicapped — in general — don't care about ideological purity and "who sold out". To them, it's all about the rock and roll. Even the lady in the wheelchair is getting into it.

Actually, I think it would be cool if more mentally handicapped went to concerts. I think it would be more fun. Maybe their clear enjoyment would rub off on some of the more stoic folks in the audience.

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Some People Love Their Computers Too Much

As you can probably tell, I blurred out part of this picture because I knew it would not be worksafe. The NSFW version can be found here. I remember when I first clicked on that picture, the only thing I could think was, "Good God! This computer has a vagina!" And then I flipped out.

But this computer is for the true porn afficionado. Apart from the latex vagina, there are other interesting elements. Do note the lotion, the tissue paper with waste basket, Mountain Dew, and coffee mug adorned with lesbians. I don't know what the little mirror is for — perhaps someone can enlighten me.

Now it could be that this computer case is all just created for laughs. If not, I must state that it was only a matter of time before someone took their enjoyment of internet porn to unforeseen heights. My only wonder, of course, is if the case ever gets too hot. I imagine the latex and silicone could melt.

In the likely event that someone gets sent to the hospital for third degree burns, this story could very well take on a life of its own.

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Pillow + Wig = Pillowig

Sculptor Joo Youn Paek must suffer from a serious case of narcolepsy. I can only imagine the Pillowig being practical if you are prepared to fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Still, I give her credit for looking cute and for wearing a bowtie to match the outfit.

Okay, so me being the guy I am, I am a sucker for cute girls. And maybe I would not be posting about this if I thought, "Awwww... How cute!" Actually, Joo Youn Paek takes this little invention quite seriously — to the point of calling the pillowig a "sculpture".

You can see how seriously she is in her own words.

"Pillowig" is hand made wearable pillow comforting trieness of people in daily lives, enabling users to sleep comfortably whenever and whenever they’d like. When user test is done in public spaces - subway, airplane, library, class room and laundromat, viewers commented: “I would like to have it for my trip.”, “Very funny.” “This is practical, but a laugh, too." I made 50 limited editions and sold 47 pieces at the exhibition of the work and gained “Pillowig” fans. Two months later fans did a group performance piece at the Old Palace, Seoul.

Pillowig - Joo Youn Paek

She wasn't lying when she said she got her fans to do a group performance. This performance entailed getting them together to dream their own dreams in front of Gyeongbok Palace. Oh, what I would have done to have seen that performance!

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The Manga Version of Charlie Brown

Memo to all those Japanophiles out there: not everything needs a manga makeover. Lucy was just fine as a flat-chested prepubescent fussbudget. Linus was better holding his blanket instead of discreetly letting it hang out of his back pocket. And above all, Charlie Brown should never make a cameo in Dragon Ball Z.

This is wrong. Actually, let me use stronger language. This is an abominable blight. It must be stopped. We must stop the further conversion of our most beloved cartoons into manga.

Although, if I could recommend one Western cartoon that deserves the manga treatment, it would be Pokemon. I don't know why nobody has tried that yet.

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I'm Sorry Folks, I Broke the Internet

My Amiga didn't come with Direct X so it looks like I'm screwed. Also, the closest I've ever come to ewoking is through watching the last episode of Star Wars. I finally did click on something, but I can't seem to get this one button mouse to do anything.

So yeah, it looks like I broke the internet. Sorry about wrecking your torrent transfers. In my defense, I don't really know what a menu is.

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Customer Reviews of Latawnya, the Naughty Horse

Doubtlessly, may of you have become aware of Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs — the children's book that features smoking, drinking, and overdosing horses. Since this story was uploaded on Something Awful, it seems one of the side effects are the reviews to be found about it on Amazon.com. It seems that many have been so touched by Latawnya's story that some abusers have finall