Animal Pet Psychic

Blah, blah, blah. I already know scores of you believe in psychics. Even if you do, though, answer me this question: do you really think it is healthy when we put so much attention towards an animal that we hire a psychic to communicate with it? Think about it: should the quackery of the occult mingle with the quackery of Neuticles?

But okay, you do think the quackeries should mingle. Perhaps you think every quackery should merge themselves into a giant, orgiastic festival of quackery. Still, you got to admit when someone claims to hear voices in their head, and then claims that you can hear these voices — but you just don't know it — that is a sign of sheer crazy:

Can you actually hear voices inside your head?

Yes, I can, but so can you. Just as the clairvoyant images you pick up from animals are "inside your own head," the words or phrases you intuitively hear when engaged in nonverbal communication are "inside your own head." They are not as "loud" as spoken words, but that does not make the conversation any less "real." The gift of clairaudience (clear-hearing) allows us to circumvent the charades required to put together visual puzzle pieces.

Amelia Kinkade

Dear regular pet lover, is this the kind of woman you should give your hard-earned money to? Look deep inside your gut and tell me that you're not going to fall for this bullshit.

Your Ad Here

Iceland Through a Blogger's Perspective

If I was to travel anywhere in the world, it would be Iceland. Apart from it being a little bit cold, what is there not to like? Besides, I'm not averse to the cold. I'm from Canada. But more than that, I think I'd love to hang around a bunch of Vikings who love to read.

BloggingReykjavik.net confirms that Iceland is just as cool as I thought it was. It is a small secluded island with a peaceful populace. It sports a not-so-agressive left-wing outlook, and has a love of Rock and Roll. Now there's pictures to prove it.

I think the other charming thing about Iceland is that most folks are too attentive to the fact that it is actually a beautiful place. They think it is all permafrost so they never give it a chance. Kind of like Canada, in a sense.

So yes, go to Iceland. But don't tell anyone how cool it is. It's our little secret.

Your Ad Here

The Best Six Motivational Posters for Roleplayers

I was never considered cool enough for the roleplayers. Every single time one of them invited me over for an inspiring game of Dungeons and Dragons, I always unfortunately made an ass of myself. It was my longing to create a truly memorable character that did me in. I once created this character named Bork whose special power was the ability to summon a chalkboard at will and scratch his long fingernails against it. Then I would add some live action role-playing into the mix in order to make the experience more "authentic".

My roleplaying friends said that D&D didn't have this component, and that I was just making stuff up as I went along. They said I had to use the dice every so often. To that, I replied that Bork was to glorious to make use of the dice. That's when I was no longer invited to any of their parties.

While I know that I'll never be allowed into the pantheon of roleplayers ever again, it doesn't keep me from appreciating their beautiful art. Hence, I am going to share with you five more motivational posters that inspire them onwards to victory.

Source

Potatoes

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES!

Love,
Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,
Fred

Source: Emily

Your Ad Here

A Photographic History of the Light Bulb

Catherine Warner has amassed a huge collection of light bulbs throughout history:

While in residence at the Baltimore Museum of Industry during the last two years, Catherine Wagner was given access to their 50,000+ collection of historic light bulbs, one of the premier collections of vintage and antique light bulbs in the United States, with lights dating from the early 19th century. The resulting series of photographs titled A Narrative History of the Light Bulb embodies both sculptural installation and photography. Wagner creates arrangements of bulbs that she then photographs with an 8 by 10 view camera in order to record the glass enclosures and the delicate filaments in stunning detail.

Stephen Wirtz Gallery

For your enjoyment, I've posted a few more of these light bulb pictures.

Carbon Lamps, pre 1900


Utopia

Energy Efficient Experiment, 1980's

Green Energy

Magnesium Flash

Dental Phobias

Fear of the dentist is a common enough fear. Who wants to experience a root canal? If fear is keeping people from going to the dentist, then perhaps a website is needed. Thing is, I don't think Dental Fear Central does a very good job of it.

Perhaps its the cute smileys .

Perhaps its the comics.

Mostly, I think it's mostly because their "advice" would just exacerbate my fear of the dentist if I had one.

Take, for instance, this advice for abuse survivors:

The following conditions may trigger a repetition of earlier trauma: being alone with a person more powerful than oneself, being placed in a horizontal position, having someone nearby and touching you, having objects placed in one's mouth, being unable to talk or swallow, and experiencing or anticipating pain.

Sexual Abuse in Childhood and Dental Fears

Well, now that you jogged my memory, I think I'll be heading over to the dentist. Keep in mind that I'm not making light of the situation, I just think the situation requires a little more tact. How about expressing more empathy?

While there definitely is place for humour in therapy, I don't think this kind of humour helps. I think it would make me more afraid of the dentist.

Your Ad Here

"I am an Anarchist!"

When I was 12-years-old, I used to walk around calling myself an anarchist. Of course, I did not know anything about anarchist political theory. All I really knew was that an anarchist was someone who sprayed anarchist symbols underneath bridges and sported mohawks. I didn't know anything about Bakunin, Proudhon, or Chomsky.

My own opinion of anarchism nowadays is that it is a cute collection of wishful thinking. I also think it is an unfortunate case of reductionism. Authority does not equal power. In fact, while power is an easily recognizable phenomenon, authority is far more nebulous. Think about the banker in the Monopoly boardgame you own or the captain of the football team. Are these power-hungry dictators?

In any sense, the anarchist archives is an excellent collection of thinkers, pamphlets, and historical international organizations that at one time rivaled Marxism as a dominant revolutionary movement. You'll also read about the First International, the Paris Commune, and the Spanish Civil War.

Think of it as the political ideology the world thankfully avoided — and here's the literature to prove it.

Your Ad Here

Pictures of People with One Eye Closed

Zhu Yunwei,a product design student in Germany, created a collection of portraits of people with one eye closed. To do this, he took two pictures: one with open eyes, one with closed eyes. Then he created one composite image. The effect is a little bit calm but unnatural.

I'm going to let Zhu explain why he created this work in his own words.

In my works, I show two entirely incompatible states at the same time two states of consciousness. I believe these basic states are just like the simple contrasts - black and white. I chose the portrait format. The face is the most direct and basic element / inter-medium of
human expression. Expressions such as laughter have a universal meaning and are metaphorical all over the world. I have taken many pictures of different people in the studio at my college. These people are of different ages, different backgrounds and countries of origin.

zhu yunwei: portraits

I think I will share five more pictures from the collection.

Your Ad Here

Spammers Masquerading as Eco-Terrorists

I googled prominent eco-terrorists Earth Liberation Front to see what information I could glean. The first thing I thought when I noticed "their" website was that the domain was up for sale. "Hmmm, that's odd," I thought and clicked my way in. EarthLiberationFront.com looked like a typical environmentalist news blog. It's got a nice banner, a decent background, and a link to Tre Arrow's website. But as I looked through, I noticed a few amusing things.

Hidden within the relevant news, I couldn't help but wonder why environmentalists were so concerned with Cialis. Was this a problem with lack of protein? Well, then I discovered links to Pink Floyd posters, the iPhone lawsuit, and used panties. Then it hit me: whoever designed this website made pretty damn sure to beat Wikipedia in the Google search rankings.

The funny thing is, design-wise, it is much better than the ELF's own website (actually, I don't think ELF has a website). It's also got much more interesting articles (that were gleaned from such sources as the LA Weekly). If this SEO cared, and put more effort into being a content producer, he would have something decent on his hands.

In your opinion, is this the new way to cheat Google's pagerank system?

Your Ad Here

Threat Alert Jesus

Click the above image for a better view.

I originally found this at the official Threat Alert Jesus website. This is satire, but you know what? If marketed correctly, this product could be a hit. I mean, it comes with a free Bible, for goodness sakes.

I don't meet too many individuals like this in part because I live in Canada where there isn't such a culture of fear. Of course, I don't think the tragedy here is religion, but how religion propogates fear. At this point, it isn't about terrorism. It is about protecting us from "them".

And this is why you should buy Threat Alert Jesus.

Your Ad Here

Don't Look if You're an Epileptic

Those wacky Germans sure have an interesting idea of art. I got this image from JUNG + WENIG, a site that seems to hearken back to the old Bauhaus design movement. As I don't understand German, I don't totally catch their ideology. However, I assume with titles like Globalize me! and The Revolution will not be Televised, they must be fairly left wing.

But let's forget politics. What I care about is the intangible quality of "neat". That means, "Does it twist my brain around and upturn my frown?" This is my primary concern.

In this sense, JUNG + WENIG gives me what I want: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a zombie robot, and seemingly nonsensical typography. Plus, everything seems all the more interesting if you imagine Dieter from Sprockets to be reading everything.

Your Ad Here

Pictures of an Optimus Prime Balloon Sculpture

Michael commented on my post about the paper Optimus Prime letting me know that he can do one better: an Optimus Prime balloon sculpture. In total, it took him five hours and over 50 balloons to complete this. When he was completely finished, this Transformer stood three feet tall.

Apparently, this Michael specializes in balloon sculpture. "Animals" seems too savage of a term here. But hey, if you want to hire him for your children's birthday party, go right ahead. In any which case, I thought I'd share with you more pictures of optimus prime.

Your Ad Here

100 Girls on Cheap Paper

Tina Berning is a Berlin-based illustrator who has created a fascinating concept that is still easy to digest. Her work is usually based upon awkward and out of sorts women who still manage an appeal. What attracts me to 100 Girls on Cheap Paper is that it is quite cheap — without any hint of glossiness.

I think its the paper, not the women that attracts me to this work. It is quick, throwaway paper that still manages to intrigue. The women, who are quite beautiful, are reserved to special treatment. Each sketch seems quick, and Tina Berning doesn't seem to want to waste her time. In short, its the funny art book you can bring on the bus with you (although she is not producing a book that I know about).

Funny enough, this whole thing seems to be very "rock and roll" — which isn't to surprising since Tina Berning many an album cover and promotional concert poster. But this is a much more raw work. Kind of a strange work.

Which, I guess, is why I decided to write about this.

Your Ad Here

Colour-Coordinated Bookshelf

Next time you are locked in a library but don't want to read books, here's a something to try: arrange each book according to colour. Then, once you ingest some hallucinogens, you can taste the reading rainbow. You can be like Geordie LaForge — only you will be able to see!

Imagine what adventures will unfold! You will see the tales of fairies and spacemen and vampires!

Your Ad Here

Top Six Extreme Guarantees of a Traffic Accident

Each image here represents an accident waiting to happen. There are two primary ingredients that create each future cataclysm: sheer incompetence by whoever created these road conditions and pure shock on the part of the oncoming driver.

A further two things provoke me upon looking at these images. Initially, I must ask how it got to the point where these road conditions got implemented. The image on the left, for instance, must have been printed, approved for road use, and then actually set. Why is it, through this entire bureaucratic process, that nobody saw the potential deaths that could occur?

The other noteworthy aspect is that we didn't get to see the accidents. Hopefully, someone came to their senses and realized what harm may happen. Thing is, we don't know. While these mistakes may have been rectified, they was still time for an accident to occur before they were fixed.

And so, without further adieu, I present to you five more images that will prompt you to say, "What doom could have occurred here?"

Certainly, you should stop at the intersection. But pray tell, where shall you go from there? Well, you got to go somewhere. Let's just hope the decision is the right one.



Ha ha. How clever. Unfortunately, someone has forgotten the first law of human stupidity: someone is going to do it.



The only explanation here is that whoever painted this road was an extremely drunk and retarded person.



You just know this was responsible for a clip on America's Funniest Home Videos. That is hoping that after the cyclist impales his nuts that he doesn't fall onto the road and get hit by an oncoming truck.



Just don't ask why. Please. Just don't ask why.

Your Ad Here

Imagine a World Where Everything is Made Out of Carrots

Dr. Eric Whale, left, and Dr David Hepworth have engineered carrots as a replacement for carbon fibre. It is predicted this advance is to change a whole lot of things — from fishing rods to battleships. In fact, the first device to be impacted by this new application — a fly-fishing rod — is set to go on sale later this month.

What this pretty much means is that many of our future daily tools are going to be made out of 100% biological matter. In turn, this also means that they will be biodegradable.

While this may be cause for celebration for environmentalists the word over, I foresee some problems. For instance, what if my furniture rots? Or what if while gardening, I go inside for lunch, come back out only to discover that a rabbit have eaten my shovel?

Did you ever think of that, scientists? Did you?

Source: The Scotsman

Your Ad Here

Optimus Prime Made Out of Paper -- And Fully Functional!

All you need is a printer, scissors, and glue, and you will be on your way towards creating the most kickass robot that was ever put to paper. Not only that, but he transforms into a truck. This isn't just any robot. This is Optimus Prime.

Imagine this scenario. You are in high school again. Like everybody else who uses the internet, you got no girlfriend, you got a bad haircut, and and you listen to emo music. Naturally, this makes you the target of every jerkface who knows how to throw a baseball. What are your options?

The only logical course of action is to spend third period math class building Optimus Prime. You're going to have to smuggle in a few pieces of equipment, but after class is over, you will be able wave Optimus Prime in their faces and sing "MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!"

Then they shall face the wrath of the paper robot and all shall be well.

The end.

Your Ad Here

Hanging Harry: The Suicidal Light Pull

From SUCK UK comes a novelty item for the more morbid of folks. Hanging Harry is a bathroom light pull you can use if you need to see the contents of your medicine cabinet. This way, when you reach for the prozac, you can remind yourself of what you would be doing if you didn't keep those brain chemicals in check.

As the SUCK designers describe it:

You can't help Harry to see the light, it's too late. Harry is already dead! But Harry can help you to switch on your lights.

Hanging Harry Light Pull | SUCK UK

So what else do you get with Hanging Harry? More than 2m of rope. In case you worry about whether you need to look in your Boy Scout book, don't worry. The noose is already tied. All you need to do is give Hanging Harry a little tug, and his silicone body will grow limp.

Your Ad Here

Harry Potter Parody: Uncle Pig Confronts Hagar the Horrible

Never underestimate the power of dramatic voiceover work. Kudos to whoever created this video. In summation, I give you the following review of this work:

BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!

Your Ad Here

A Real Life Replica of the Simpsons' House

This house has an eerie similarity to the Simpsons' house, don't you think? It's got the same garage, the same pathway, the same windows. Sure, it could be just a coincidence. But when you look at the interior, you begin to realize there is a deep obsession going on here.



Yes, this is the couch at the opening credit. The following picture now is the stairwell. Now tell me this is a coincidence.



Of course, apart from just dismissing this house as the work of a zealous fan who has a little too much money, another viewpoint is that this could be a good investment. Graceland is still making millions of dollars, and Elvis Presley was practically a cartoon. So why not use those tourist dollars towards characters who are genuine cartoons?

Your Ad Here

How Sex With Frozen Chicken Impacts Your Belief in God

Before you say I'm off my rocker, let me emphatically say that I did not make up this scenario. In actuality, this is from the taboo test I found from The Philosopher's Magazine. The scenario I lay before you is thus:

A man goes to his local grocery store once a week and buys a frozen chicken. But before cooking and eating the chicken, he has sexual intercourse with it. Then he cooks it and eats it. He never tells anyone about what he does, never regrets it and never shows any ill effects from behaving this way. He remains an upstanding member of his community.

Taboo 9 | The Taboo Test

Assuming you don't believe meat consumption is a problem, how do you judge this man's actions? Should this man's erotic taste for poultry be prevented or punished? Suppose in one country it is normal to have secret sex with dead frozen chickens while in another it is taboo? Are both cases okay morally speaking or is one of them morally wrong?

I asked three people today their opinions on this and two of them said it was wrong but they didn't have a coherent reason for this opinion except to say the chicken lover must be insane. The third person, upon prodding, said that while it is "humanly" wrong, it is not morally wrong. He did not go into detail about the difference between the two wrongs.

As you see, through my brief survey, believing that chicken loving is wrong seems common sense, but explaining why this is the case can prod people into vague assertions. It may seem that this social taboo is simply a nonsensical construction created because most "normal" people aren't into chickens. This is not so, says The Philosophers' Magazine:

No doubt some people will suspect that we have constructed this activity with the intention of showing that people are just mistaken if they think that things like having sex with a frozen chicken are wrong. This is not the case, since it is possible to at least make arguments that such things are wrong. Here is an example of one such argument. Human beings are God's creations. Their sexuality is a gift from God to be enjoyed only in the context of a monogamous union between one man and one woman. Chickens, frozen or otherwise, are not part of the picture. Therefore, to have sex with one is to abuse the gift of sexuality, and will necessarily harm a person's relationship with God. It follows that having sex with poultry is a moral wrong.

Taboo — The Results

Of course, The Philosopher's Magazine is not saying one can only believe that sex with chickens is wrong only if one is a theist, just that this is a consistent argument. The intention of this exercise, however, is to show that there are tensions in the way human beings perceive morality. Are actions considered wrong only if harm is being done to another? Or is morality established as a factor external to the forces of nature?

In other words, is the formation of morality a utilitarian phenomena or does it find its basis in theism? I'd definitely love to know your opinion.

For further reading, I suggest these following materials.

Your Ad Here

Siamese Twins Born To Cattle

Keeping along with my cow-themed day, I present to you this most unusual case of Siamese calves conjoined at the stomach.

It took four hours to deliver these calves — and only through surgery. Even through that, they were born dead. Poor fellows didn't even have a chance.

I don't know about you, but a creepy feeling overcomes me when I look at that pic. It's like some mad scientist has been doing experiments on them. Either that, or this could be one such example of beef McDonald's puts in their burgers. I'm certainly hoping I'm wrong about the last statement.

Sheesh, nature can be a cruel thing.

A Toilet in the Amazon Jungle

Libertad, a village in Ecuador, is the home of 90 Amazonian Indians. Every last Indian uses this toilet. This small toilet is simply a rectangular hole in a concrete floor. It's depth is 15 feet. Those strands of green material, I'm hoping, are leaves to wipe away the fecal matter.

One thing must be said about the Amazonian Indians: if they can brave this toilet, they can brave any wild thing that can come at them in the jungle. Case closed.

Found via Toiletnet.

Revenge Against the Evil Cows

This post deserves some background. Two years ago, I had a brief fling with a vegan girl. She was a pretty little thing: 4'10", pale white skin, the slightest of features, and pouty lips. Unfortunately for me, Vanessa was also a card-carrying member of PETA. At first, I thought it was no big deal. She had her ways, I had mine, and we at least bonded over two commonalities: music and literature. All seemed right at first.

Then I found out how much being a vegan sucks. I couldn't buy her any food for fear there might be some unknown animal byproduct in it — even if it were herbal tea. She constantly checked the labels on my clothes. The most absurd of her opinions was that mothers were raising their children to be murderers if they fed them meat. It was driving me absolutely batty.

One day, I came to see her, I was wearing a fake leather jacket I just bought. It was fake leather not because I agreed with her vegan ways, but because I couldn't afford real leather. Of course, she didn't know this. That's when I got an earful. I was condoning murder and slavery, she said, for wearing that jacket. I was no better than a Nazi for letting the holocaust continue. I mumbled on about how it wasn't real leather, but once she was on a tangent, there was no stopping her.

Of course, if could I redo the conversation, it would go something like this:

Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You're promoting murder by wearing that.
Leather jacket guy: I don't wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Burger King.

Overheard in the Office | I Try to Take Revenge at Least Once a Day

So in a sense, this is my final answer towards every easily offendable and misguided moral crusader who seeks to set everyone aright. I'm not just talking about you, PETA. I'm talking about all of you: James Dobson, Rosie O'Donnell, and Dr. Phil. Don't think I won't be going to Burger King tomorrow.

"Offensive" Fruit Crate Label Art of Yesteryear

I use the word "offensive" on a more encompassing sense than usual. What I really mean is that these labels, through time, have become unmarketable. Indeed, using labels such as these will doom a company to bankruptcy. I will point out why.




The only head lettuce that stops male itch, I imagine Gold Bond to have tingled upon ingestion. When I was a young 'un, my friends and I would get together for Gold Bond parties. These parties had nothing to do with lettuce. Rather, we used that other Gold Bond — the one that contained menthol and zinc oxide as ingredients. For good reason, we had our own slogan for Gold Bond. "It is Halls for your balls," we'd say. Upon application, each one of us would feel a cooling sensation before we were rendered immobile by an intense numbing.

You see, I don't think anyone could be too enthusiastic about adding Gold Bond to their salad.




That boy there is Gay Johnny. He is from the ranch where cowboys abound. In an age where Brokeback Mountain can win an Academy Award, homosexuality is not as controversial as it once was. Little gay boys named Johnny will not sell vegetables, though. I think you know why.




Ah, back in the day when racism could sell sweet potatoes. Here a down and out Black man from Louisiana is dooming himself to more abject poverty through the role of the dice. I imagine these potatoes to be quite popular amongst the Klan. And what is the brand of potatoes? "Don't Cry". It's as if Irvin Wimberly, packer and shipper, is trying to say something.

The Inner City Ghetto Boys Vs. The Euro-Disco Dutch Fellows

Hilarious. The gap-toothed smiles and bobbing heads are pure comedy gold. And then there is the question of what happens to these characters after the commercial ends.

After babelfishing Delta Lloyd, I think this commercial either has something to do with banking or insurance. I'm really not sure how the commercial's odd juxtaposition has anything to do with banking or insurance, but I don't care.

It's funny.

In 1920, the First Music Download Service Was Created

It was called the Acoustograph. To say it was ahead of its time is an understatement. It had features one would recognize as prophetic. Music was sent over wire (telegraph to be exact). Multiple songs could be stored — up to three. Every month, new compositions could be downloaded.

From what I ascertain, one could request a new song through morse code. Then an operator would send back morse that would in turn puncture a paper roll. In this respect, it was quite similar to a player piano. If you wanted to listen to a different song, you would press down on one of the buttons on the top of the Acoustograph.

It was brilliant technology for its time. So why did it disappear into obscurity? There were a couple factors, I believe. The phonograph disc was more durable than paper and hence was seen as more permanent. There were less telegraphs to be found in the common home than telephones (for obvious reasons). Finally, buying a record outright for a one time fee was more satisfactory to the average consumer than paying monthly for a new song.

So while the Acoustograph was the precursor to iTunes, the RIAA should take take note. Customers would rather buy music they see as permanent. iTunes will be successful only inasmuch as customers feel it can be used on multiple devices. And while Apple has instituted FairPlay, they still made each song burnable to a CD. This is an important point. Customers don't want songs that are usable only on one device and unusable after a few listens (Zune, I'm looking at you).

To see more pictures of the Acoustograph, and watch an old commercial, took a look at the Museum of Lost Interactions page on it.

More Thoughts on the Tattoo

Yesterday, my post on the educated man's tattoo brought over 20,000 people over to this blog. That breaks the visitation record. In truth, I've yet to reach 100,000 page views. I hope the best is yet to come.

With that said, the tattoo is not without some controversy. For every person who thought the tattoo was cool, there seemed to be another person who thought it was pretentious, contrived, and smug. Let me address those naysayers.

As one of the comments said, So much hate, what's up with that?

I think there's a few reasons. Tattoos, as a source of self-expression, still cause a lot of fuss. Many folks assume a person who desires a tattoo is an attention seeker; that he is misguided in his attempt to express his individuality. Because a tattoo is permanent, one must consider that self-perception can change with time.

The fellow who got the tattoo believes himself to be intelligent. Many may call this arrogant. However, as the phrase goes, "you shall know them by their fruits" — the tattoo is an intelligent tattoo because it provokes an opinion. In the end, an intelligent person isn't someone with an opinion, an intelligent person is someone who causes others to have a thoughtful opinion.

Indeed, if he was merely branding himself with nonsensical words, as others have done, I would agree that this is an unintelligent tattoo. This is not what he is doing. His tattoo creates the impression of his skin peeling back, that there is an attempt for repair — for if it doesn't repair, words will burst forth from his flesh. There is wide range of interpretation here as there is a wide range of opinion. This is a good thing.

What I was trying to express in my former post was that tattoos are not about butterflies and kenji and barbed wire. Tattoos can express deep thought. Tattoos can provoke ideas. They are not just for attention-seeking individuals who are unsure of their self-identities.

Tattoos can be a provocative form of art.

Hilariously Atrocious Poetry

There are good poems. There are bad poems. Then there are poems that are so awful they make you want to perform a self-lobotomy. Hence, it is time for you to bring out your scalpel because I got one example of such poetry:

Futility

I grab my head between my hands,
And bash it against the wall,
In truth it feels I've been here,
For longer than I recall,
You parasites want some sweat and blood,
I'm rising to the call,
I wish I feared the end result,
While not surprised at all

One might think this poem is an anomaly. Yet one such person has created his own collection of weird poems. One would think the titles speak for themselves. Fetalloid Musicution, Cute Enough To Be Funny Watching It Die, and Beaming Into the Gullet of Nake are all the many poems whose titles simply don't do them justice. All told it is hilarious because you don't want to cry.

And this is why, in the end, you must know about them.

A Tattoo for the Educated Man

I have profiled tattoos here before, mostly examples of a dubious nature. However, this tattoo is one of my favourites. The straightforward reason for loving this tattoo is that it's just damn cool. It speaks to me as someone who has often wanted a tattoo but doesn't want to scar up his body with something he might regret.

There are many ways to approach this tattoo. One can say it is a post-modern interpretation of physicality. It could speak about thoughts in relation to flesh. Or perhaps it's just there for mere decoration.

In any sense, this is one of the few tattoos that have truly made me think. Tattoos are not just the domain for bikers and brutes. They are for the thinking man as well.

Motorcycle Made Out of Balloons

I don't know how long it took to create this motorcycle, nor do I know how many balloons came together to create this cohesive unit. That's not the burning question. I'm wondering if the fellow who created this work cried when somebody finally popped it.

No matter, this is a beautiful piece I discovered upon stumbling onto this post about balloon art. This to me is the piece de resistance upon which all balloon art must be compared. I don't think anyone is going to object upon my pronouncement.

So it kind of makes that balloon dog you got for your birthday look pretty stupid, eh?

A Catchy Duet with a Computer

This song is dedicated to all those cats and dogs who spend every waking hour gallavanting along those IRC shores, killing their bandwidth with torrent files, getting into a Wikipedia edit war, or (like me) spending hours trying to find unique content for a blog that almost nobody reads.

Yes, you also need a vacation, but of course, a "regular" vacation will not do. What you demand is a virtual paradise with a virtual beach so you can soak in the virtual sun. We are not there yet, technologically speaking, which is why I'm sharing this song with you.

Rurik Leffanta, "Virtual Paradise"

This song was found on Flinger, a website dedicated to songs entirely created on a computer. Certainly, most of them are not the catchiest of songs, but there is at least some degree of charm. I recommend giving this a look.

Beautiful Victorian Children's Books Found at the Internet Archive

I was just reminded again on some of the hidden treasures of the Internet Archive. For a few years now, I've been enjoying some blues that have become public domain. And aside from seeing what Apple looked like in 1996, that's pretty much it.

Of course, imagine my surprise when I discovered that the Internet Archive also has a fine collection of public domain children's books complete with colourful jaw-dropping picturebook glory. The picture above is from a book written by Thomas Crane in 1882. Here's is an excerpt:

Then to the Hotel on the quay they all went;
To remain till the morrow they all were content:
After so much fatigue Father thought it was best,
For the children were weary and needed the rest.

Abroad — A Childrens Story

This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are over 2,000 books in this collection.

This children's library will offer you hours of amusement. If not for younger kin with old-fashioned tastes, then for that whimsical side of yourself that still takes pleasure in childish things.

A Device That Creates Music Out of Noise

An completely innovative invention is rare. A student out of MIT has come up with one such device. The Ambient Addition, as the video explains, is a device that not only changes the way you listen to music, but how you look at the world. It is completely interactive and it is insanely creative. Noah Vawter further explains the purpose behind his invention and how it works:

Ambient Addition is a Walkman with binaural microphones. A tiny Digital Signal Processing (DSP) chip analyzes the microphone's sound and superimposes a layer of harmony and rhythm on top of the listener's world. In the new context, some surprising behaviors take place. Listeners tend to play with objects around them, sing to themselves, and wander toward tempting sound sources. With Ambient Addition, I'm hoping to make people think twice about the sounds they initiate as well as loosen up some inhibitions.

Noah Vawter: Ambient Ambition

Ever since Brian Eno, ambient music has grown in popularity with each coming year. However, it has long been considered "background" music. What this device aims to do is systematically make you interact with each ambient sound your come across. Music, thus, is simply not something to passively listen to. In a sense, one is altering the Walkmen into a musical instrument. This is similar to what hip hop did to the turn table.

Now, I cannot wait till this device is mass produced. I'm not even sure if mass production is planned, but one thing is true: I want one. Hence, I believe it is the duty of every man, woman, and child who reads this blog to contact Mr. Vawter and tell him that there is a market for him.

Oh, and if you are interested in the further logistics of the Ambient Addition, you can read Mr. Vawter's thesis. Mayybe if you are more mechanically inclined than I am you can figure out how to build one yourself.

Man with Weird Voice Catches Fish with Teeth

The clip is pretty self-explanatory. I just want to say what I think this guy sounds like. Remember Beaker from the Muppets? Well, if he could actually enunciate words, he would talk like this fisherman.

As for the fish, I think it's Nature's misbegotten way of trying to rip out the man's vocal chords. The fish was supposed to jump out of the ocean and bite down hard on his neck. But the fish got greedy and took the bait. Literally.

So now he's on CNN.

Man Marries Foam Cut-Out of Himself

A few years ago, there were some women in my town who got together, called the newspaper, and each got married to herself. No, they were not lesbians. They all just realized they were going to be single for the rest of their lives so they might as well stop waiting around. Thus, they wanted everyone to know they were finally happy with their singlehood.

I thought the whole thing was stupid, and I still do. The whole thing reeks of the Oprah-watching, granola-eating soft feminism I loathe so much. But while the women I spoke about before were trying to put a positive spin on their situation, not so the man in this story Ananova reports upon. Lui Ye, the man in the photo above, married himself to express his "dissatisfaction with reality".

This was no life-affirming new age ceremony either. This guy created a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself in a bridal dress. After claiming himself "whole", he also admitted that he was "narcissistic" — in a totally non-gay way, that is. Hence, this whole ceremony was based upon disappointment. In my opinion, that's the worst reason to get married.

So I guess the reason why I feel compelled to write about this is because I know I can't afford a ticket to China just so I could tell Lui Ye my whole opinion on this "marriage". Let me have my say here, then. If you are dissatisfied with reality, it is time you change it. If you do not like the way things are, there is no reason why you cannot make it a point to get up in the morning and do things differently. You do not need marriage.

A Cat Spanking Video

During my time as a cat owner, I do some pretty interesting things to my cat. I taught him to play hide and go seek. I taped scotch tape to his feet and watched him dance around. Perhaps the cruelest thing I did was tie a shoelace to his tale and watch him go crazy as he chased the shoelace only to never catch it. Cats are made for wacky times.

Cat spanking is a little too wacky for my blood. That cat seems to enjoy the sensation of being spanked way too much. Perhaps it's just me, but this act reminds me a little too much of S&M. Is society so absolutely screwed up that whenever I watch a cat being spanked it seems a little too human to me?

In any which sense, I wouldn't worry too much if this one video was an anomaly. It is not. Wikia has a whole page devoted to cat spanking videos. This means we are on the verge of a new movement amongst feline enthusiasts. The cat spanking movement is soon to be upon us.

Sushi-Scented Cologne Spray

Demeter Fragrance Library, a company that specializes in "everyday" scents, has released a sushi-scented cologne spray. And what, pray tell, are the components of a sushi sent? Well, mostly it smells of fish. Along with that, there's a mix of sticky white rice, seaweed, with just a little bit of lemon and ginger. No word on if they are planning a wasabi edition.

You probably like the scent of sushi, but perhaps you are worried that others may not share your sensual preferences. Be not worried. Demeter tends to create scents that only last a short time. Thus, if you are at your local Japanese restaurant, and you want to smell more like your atmosphere, go right ahead. Once you come back from your lunch break and return to your office, you may not be as aromatic. See, it's a win-win proposition.

The price of this sushi fragrance for a 1oz. bottle is $14.99. Hence, it is not as expensive as other eau de toilettes. Certainly, sushi may not be your thing but I'm sure there's some other fragrance that can captivate you. For instance, Plah-Doh.

A Genius Satire: The Book of Zelph - Another Testament of the Book of Mormon

Who is Zelph? Only the greatest American to ever walk the planet. Joseph Smith identified him as a kickass white Lamanite prophet warrior who unfortunately came to a bitter end when an arrow went through his ribs. Nobody would have heard of him if Zion's Camp didn't come upon his bones on top of a hill. Still, he's only spoken of as a minor figure within Mormon history.

Until now, that is. As it happens, Josh Anderson had a dream wherein, after lopping off some Nephite guy's head, Zelph told him to go find his plates. This is explained in great detail in his testimony.

After reading the Book of Zelph in great detail, I've come away convinced it is absolutely true. At first, I had my doubts. But then, after careful prayer, I came upon this verse:

"And I promise thee that if ye ask if this book be not true, and roll a pair of dice with a sincere heart, and desire exceedingly for the book to be true, yea, the dice shall reveal the truthfulness of this book unto thee."
- Melph 5:4

And it came to pass, after I rolled a seven, that I could not deny the truth of the Book of Zelph. You see, although archaeology and DNA evidence appear to disprove the Book of Mormon, it is not quite so easy with the Book of Zelph. Sure, science may have its gizmos, gadgets, and "theories". Yet I do not see how science can explain how I rolled a seven. It doesn't make sense. Therefore, the Book of Zelph must be true.

A Genuine Political Cartoon by Dr. Seuss

It is certainly a treat to present to you this little known editorial cartoon by Dr. Seuss. Apparently, between the years of 1941-43, Dr. Seuss worked for PM — a left-wing New York daily. During this time, he made sure to air his opinions on Nazism, isolationism, racism, and conservatism.

Anyone familiar with his books realizes that Dr. Seuss very much concerned himself with politics. The Butter Battle Book, for instance, is a parable of the cold war and Horton Hears a Who is about the American occupation of Japan. With this said, who know that the hat in The Cat in the Hat found its origin in one of Dr. Seuss' political cartoons depicting Uncle Sam? Indeed, if he did not find his way into children's literature, he may well be celebrated today as an imaginative editorialist.

Just in case you want to view more of Dr. Seuss' political cartoons, take a look here.

Soviet Children's Books

I came across this Flickr photo set dedicated to Soviet Children's Books. By themselves, they are a fascinating study in esthetics. Yet, what is of chief interest to me is how communist ideology felt its need to touch every segment of its citizenry. See Spot Run couldn't merely be See Spot Run. Instead, it had to be See Spot Run From the Capitalist Hordes. Everything had to be a lesson.

The imagery in the above photo is frightening to me. As I get older, I tend to embrace greater and greater individualism. Uniformed men kicking in my front door is not a situation I feel like dwelling upon. Yet, here in this picture book, not only is it dwelt upon, it is celebrated. Totalitarianism can be an ugly thing.

Many commentators state that North America is headed towards totalitarianism. I don't know how true that is, but I will know to worry when children start reading books about the friendly-but-stern secret policeman who kicks in the dissident's front door. Maybe it will be entitled Johnny Arrests a Traitor.

Gummi Bear Rug

From the fellow who brought you the chandelier made of Gummi Bears comes his most inventive invention yet. That's right, the image you see above is made entirely out of Gummi Bears. If you are skeptical, you can see this Gummy Bear rug in greater detail here. The sculptor who created this piece is YaYa Chou and you will be pleasantly surprised to know he is a fairly eclectic fellow who also dabbles in painting and animation.

Just in case you are contemplating getting this rug, remember that it is for decorative purposes only. Is it really worth getting all sticky for the sake of "comfort"?

Expensive But Non-Functioning Watches

This fashion accessory is absurd. It isn't so much because it is a watch that cannot tell time, but the whole circumstances of its invention is unintentionally ironic. Accordingly, there seems to be a misguided philosophical basis for its existence

The Internal Watch is encased in leather, rendering it non-functional as timepiece. The hidden watch transcends typical associations of status by isolating the emerging form rather than acting as a flashy signifier.

TrendySTORES - vlaemsch: internal watch

Okay. So I detect that since this watch is not supposed to act as a "flashy signifier" that the watch designer is trying to speak out against the evil of status symbols. Yet, the name of the merchant selling this watch is TrendySTORES — and they are selling it for the equivalent of $205.

I know the watch's inventor would probably tell me that I "don't get it". And that is fair. However, all this post-modernism is simply breaking my brain and I can't wait till all this deconstructive nonsense is over and done with. In other words, I'm looking forward to a future where trendy consumers will think buying an expensive faceless watch is a rip-off.

Neuticles

Neuticles, the invention that won the 2005 Ig Nobel prize for Medicine, is — in my opinion — yet another example of humanity's attempt to anthropomorphize nature. Every y