I admit that I didn't expect this. Afterall, this is David Hasselhoff we're talking about. This is the Night Rider. This is Mr. Baywatch. The guy who did a cameo on Spongebob. And I feel bad for him.
Yet, I can't help but look. It's not so much that he's drunk. I've been drunk a few times myself. Last New Year's I was praying to the Porcelain Goddess and hoping to God I would spew out some of the alcohol from my mouth because I knew if I didn't, I was going to die. So I can relate to Mr. Hasselhoff, I really can.
It's the burger that gets me. It's a Wendy's burger, as he mentioned. He can barely eat it, but he gives it a valiant attempt. Frankly, I don't know how he gets the burger in his mouth. Each bit of beefy texture barely makes its way into his mouth as he vaguely aims it toward his face. It's unbelievable how he can barely talk yet he can still manage to chomp on that thing.
David Hasselhoff should secure promotional rights based on this performance. "Wendy's: So Good It Manages to Get Inside My Mouth". I'm sure, apart from the bad taste, the commercial would be a hit. We'd have Hasselhoff's smiling mug next to jug of Colt .45 and a Bacon Junior Cheeseburger.
In fact, based upon this wonderful snippet, I'm going to Wendy's right now.
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