Imagine my delight when I found out that every December 27 a drunken, surly Santa travels about Continental US and part of Canada — he stays away from Quebec — delivers pizza in a red Ford Festiva. Forget the fat guy from the North Pole. I prefer Pizza Claus. It's his way of making amends for stealing from an orphanage six years ago.
Truth be told, I much prefer Pizza Claus to Santa Claus. Pizza Claus goes about his deal because he's wanted by the mob whereas Santa Claus does it all out of pure good will. I mean how stupid is that.
Besides, we're talking about pizza here. If you want to be my friend, just give me a pizza. And you want to be my friend, right?
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