Bottled Oxygen - Now With Flavour!

With bottled water now a $9 billion industry, it was just a matter of time before someone was to grab a hold of another free commodity and convince the world to pay for it. Witness now bottled oxygen.

Now, I still have some faith in humankind and believe people would not spend their hard-earned dollars on something they get for free. The oxygen bar at my local mall closed down recently — and they should have. They were charging $10 for ten minutes of "pure" oxygen. I am outraged they got away with it for so long.

I also know, though, that fear is an obvious factor. For this to work, you have to make people doubtful about the air around them. You got to tell them that pollution is so bad, the only way to save their health is by using bottled oxygen. So what if the science is dubious? If you repeat everything enough times, people will believe you.

Then after working everyone into a frenzy, you got to offer them something real air can't offer you: flavour. Tell your customer that there is an exciting array of flavours available to make your consumption of air more thrilling. There's eucalyptus, lemon, cherry, and peppermint. Now that your customer is distrustful of the very air he breathes, you do one better by telling him that regular air cannot compensate for the enjoyment of bottled air.

Now, I realize you think this is ridiculous. People are not that gullible, that stupid, that easily manipulated. Perhaps you are right. One company, though, is betting millions of dollars that you are wrong.

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