This post deserves some background. Two years ago, I had a brief fling with a vegan girl. She was a pretty little thing: 4'10", pale white skin, the slightest of features, and pouty lips. Unfortunately for me, Vanessa was also a card-carrying member of PETA. At first, I thought it was no big deal. She had her ways, I had mine, and we at least bonded over two commonalities: music and literature. All seemed right at first.
Then I found out how much being a vegan sucks. I couldn't buy her any food for fear there might be some unknown animal byproduct in it — even if it were herbal tea. She constantly checked the labels on my clothes. The most absurd of her opinions was that mothers were raising their children to be murderers if they fed them meat. It was driving me absolutely batty.
One day, I came to see her, I was wearing a fake leather jacket I just bought. It was fake leather not because I agreed with her vegan ways, but because I couldn't afford real leather. Of course, she didn't know this. That's when I got an earful. I was condoning murder and slavery, she said, for wearing that jacket. I was no better than a Nazi for letting the holocaust continue. I mumbled on about how it wasn't real leather, but once she was on a tangent, there was no stopping her.
Of course, if could I redo the conversation, it would go something like this:
Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You're promoting murder by wearing that.Overheard in the Office | I Try to Take Revenge at Least Once a Day
Leather jacket guy: I don't wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Burger King.
So in a sense, this is my final answer towards every easily offendable and misguided moral crusader who seeks to set everyone aright. I'm not just talking about you, PETA. I'm talking about all of you: James Dobson, Rosie O'Donnell, and Dr. Phil. Don't think I won't be going to Burger King tomorrow.
7 comments:
v funny post lol.
one thing vegans should realise: veggies are living things too.
One thing you should realize: Vegetables don't feel pain. Some people who are vegan/vegetarian are not in it for the animals anyways. You might want to use spellcheck before bashing people as well.
I'm a vegetarian, but I can understand how that constant scrutiny and criticism can get tiring. I am very passionate about my vegetarianism but I don't talk about it unless somebody brings it up with me. I'm not out to attack anyone for their personal beliefs/lifestyles, and I know that when I bring up my own, some people feel threatened even if I'm only explaining my views and not out to attack those who don't agree. I have very specific reasons for why I don't eat meat, but I'm very much a "to each their own" kind of person. *shrugs*
Nevertheless, I don't really think that kind of retort is comical. Why is rudeness a last resort in a situation like this? Did you ever try to sit this girl down and talk to her about the things that bothered you? That might have been a hell of a lot more effective than saying something offensive just to get her off your back. Saying things like this makes you sound as if you're not capable of having a rational, intelligent conversation, and that's an unfortunate thing. This world would be a better place if more people were able to talk through their misunderstandings and disagreements.
And yes, I realize you didn't really say that to her, but in the future, if you find yourself in a similar situation, I would advise you against this kind of retort.
Enjoy your Burger King. Before I went veg, I used to love their Whoppers. Fortunately, I don't miss them. :)
wait, what? this was stupid.
Uh...vegans are diverse; this doesn't represent the whole. - Sincerely, a laissez-faire vegan republican
So dump her.
She should find someone who supports her beliefs, and you should find someone who doesn't give a shit if you wear a leather jacket.
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