"Offensive" Fruit Crate Label Art of Yesteryear

I use the word "offensive" on a more encompassing sense than usual. What I really mean is that these labels, through time, have become unmarketable. Indeed, using labels such as these will doom a company to bankruptcy. I will point out why.




The only head lettuce that stops male itch, I imagine Gold Bond to have tingled upon ingestion. When I was a young 'un, my friends and I would get together for Gold Bond parties. These parties had nothing to do with lettuce. Rather, we used that other Gold Bond — the one that contained menthol and zinc oxide as ingredients. For good reason, we had our own slogan for Gold Bond. "It is Halls for your balls," we'd say. Upon application, each one of us would feel a cooling sensation before we were rendered immobile by an intense numbing.

You see, I don't think anyone could be too enthusiastic about adding Gold Bond to their salad.




That boy there is Gay Johnny. He is from the ranch where cowboys abound. In an age where Brokeback Mountain can win an Academy Award, homosexuality is not as controversial as it once was. Little gay boys named Johnny will not sell vegetables, though. I think you know why.




Ah, back in the day when racism could sell sweet potatoes. Here a down and out Black man from Louisiana is dooming himself to more abject poverty through the role of the dice. I imagine these potatoes to be quite popular amongst the Klan. And what is the brand of potatoes? "Don't Cry". It's as if Irvin Wimberly, packer and shipper, is trying to say something.