Neuticles

Neuticles, the invention that won the 2005 Ig Nobel prize for Medicine, is — in my opinion — yet another example of humanity's attempt to anthropomorphize nature. Every year, some fellow is mauled in a zoo trying to get into an animal's cage in the mistaken belief there is some "human" connection to be found. That, of course, is an extreme example.

The desire to add testicular implants to a neutered dog adds a sexualized element to these proceedings. It is not necessarily a direct erotic motive, either. Rather, it is more so a sense of guilt. This is what I ascertain from what Neuticles' customers say about why they decided to purchase silicone-based testicular implants.

"I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything."
Jeff Lane
Oak Park, Ill

What Pet Owners Are Saying About: Neutering With NEUTICLES

Hence, Neuticles seems to traffic in a certain neurosis: the trauma a pet owner feels when he denies his pet the privilege of sexual expression. It is not about the animal losing his testicles; it is about the trauma a pet owner goes through when he gets his dog's testicles removed. How would you feel if you went to the doctor and you unknowingly got castrated?

Of course, the satirical possibilities are endless as shown by this website devoted to dog condoms. Never deny the power of neurotic anthropomorphism. Especially when you throw in sex and guilt into the equation